You’re going to want to bookmark this one to come back to!

We all have those times where we feel run down, depleted, and like we’re coming down with something…aka feeling under the weather.

In the past when this would happen to me, I would immediately reach for sugary + processed comfort food, telling myself “I deserved it.” I also berated myself, felt guilty, fomo, annoyed, and frustrated. Like there was something wrong with me for being sick. My internal thought processes sounded something like, “How could you do this to me, body?!” Nice right?

And the more I did that, I would not only get sicker and feel even more rundown, but it would prolong my symptoms. Have you noticed that too for you?

We need to pay attention to what we feed ourselves, with our food and our thoughts!

But as I’ve grown, I’ve also learned about holistic health + wellness, and I want to share my top tips and guidance with you!

So we all know the basics – rest, hydrate, and nourish. All key, all important. But I want to go deeper into this so you truly understand your body, inside and out so you can not only feel your body, but get your health back to radiant wellness and equilibrium quickly!!

The first place I start is checking in with myself and LISTEN. I chose to empower myself and look to this as an opportunity instead of misfortune. As you’ve often heard me talk about, our symptoms and emotions are only messages, and our bodies the messenger. So the first question when something doesn’t feel good is to ask why. And one of my first places to start looking is where I was, what I was doing, and who I was with the few weeks and days beforehand. I look to where I was maybe overextending myself, my stress levels, how the people were feeling emotionally that I’ve been with and spoken to. I tune into where I have not been giving back to myself or where I haven’t paid attention to my own needs. It’s normally a time when I give to everyone else but myself.

Often for empaths who may be still unaware of that title and how to protect their energies find themselves coming down with colds or feel very lethargic more than usual, ESPECIALLY if they find themselves giving to others than receiving. We become unconscious of the fact that we are allowing our energies and life force to be drained, and failing to replenish our own good vibes! I’m sure you’ve heard the term “energy vampire” before, ya? And that allows our immune system to break down and go amuck (amuck amuck amuck!). You’ll also notice that the people around you who seem to be getting sick constantly and consistently are usually finding themselves complaining, thinking, and feeling negatively, finding fault and blame in everyone and everything around them. The victim mentality. This is also why it’s so important to establish proper boundaries physically, emotionally, and spiritually as that is one of the most powerful defenses against illness and disease.

So I intuitively ask my higher self, our heart for those unfamiliar with the term, as well as my body for what it needs from me. You’re going to the source first instead of putting on a band-aid and simply focusing on the symptom. And I take the inspired action I feel guided to take, which could be a whole host of things like more rest, water, and even speaking up for myself with someone that I may have been too afraid with to do so!

So that’s my first mode of defense, which also ties into something else that could be going on we need to be alerted to. Often times when we’re doing our inner work and clearing, our physical bodies and next level versions of ourselves we’re calling in on an energetic level, need some time to sync back up and align with one another. Remember that our physical bodies vibrate at a much lower energy and density, so if you’ve been programmed or conditioned for a while to live in a way that is not aligned with the vibration of what you do want, you’re going to need to shed that! And very often our bodies will do that through what we know as the common cold, flu, and tummy troubles. I’m sure some of you have also heard the terms “spiritual flu” and “ascension symptoms.” That’s what I’m talking about here. I know for me personally, I’ve been focused a little too much the past few days on my inner work and reprogramming that I haven’t really given myself a chance to stop, rest, and re-calibrate.

So after you check-in with yourself and you find that you’ve been initiating more self-care and self-love the universe might just be telling you it’s time to slow down. It’ll always do what it needs to in order to get us to pay attention. We’re always being guided, but it’s our responsibility to pay attention to the signs and synchronicities. And when we don’t pay attention, sometimes the universe does have to go to extremes which can also look like injuries and minor fender-benders.

So now after you’ve taken care of the spiritual/mindful and emotional, let’s get into the practical and nutritional!

If you’re anything like me, you’ll take any sick day as an excuse to binge your fave show on netflix, and if you thought I was going to advise you against that, thing again! All about indulgence here. But if I can muster up enough energy, I really love to indulge in some beauty self-care and TLC like a bath and a face mask. I’m a huge advocate of baths- so much so I created my own line of intuitive and reiki-charged bath salts, sugar, and coffee scrubs, which you can check out and grab HERE. Water is such a powerful conduit of energy, and when we set the intention to heal or manifest in or around water, serious magic happens! I often recommend and love to use epsom, dead sea, or Himalayan sea salt as they also powerfully and gently clear and cleanse our energetic fields (also our aura).

Supplements and proper nutrition is also a must, as cliche as that sounds by now. You already it’s so important to stay hydrated, but try to stick with water as much as you can, even adding your favorite essences for a boost like lemon, lime, cucumber, etc. Tea is great here and there but remember it can be very dehydrating.

When I feel drained or under the weather, nothing makes me happier than warm comfort food like soups, stews, oatmeal, and the like. I find I need nourishment and something that will fill me, but not weigh me down like a full-on steak dinner (which normally I’m all about!). I want to make sure I’m replenishing myself with as many nutrients as I can, so when it comes to supplementation, I try to keep it simple and natural.

My favorite remedies include –

Oregano oil – VERY potent and powerful! I begin using it at the onset of symptoms and they’re usually gone in 2-3 days MAX

Fresh raw garlic! Sometimes if I’m coming down with a sore throat, I’ll eat a whole clove of garlic and chase it down with a full glass of water. It’ll be brutal at first, but make sure to chew it up and not swallow whole. Garlic is extremely anti-bacterial!

Vitamin C – I love these packets I get from the health food store which are high-soluble 1,000mg, but I’ll also whip up a nutrient dense smoothie containing vit-c + anti-inflammatory rich foods such as oranges, pineapple, spinach, turmeric, and ginger.

Reishi – A medicinal mushroom great for the immune system. My two favorite companies are Sun Potion and Root & Bones

Zinc

Elderberry

Manuka Honey

And to me the most important, a good high-quality probiotic! Our entire immune system lives in our gut, so we need to make sure that area isn’t depleted and that it’s running at full-function! If we are suffering from any gut health imbalance, our immune system will also be compromised.

Last but not least as a special treat, this is my personal favorite recipe for the ultimate gut and immune nourishing, heart-warming, soul-soothing bone broth, perfect for any occasion! Especially for the upcoming cool weather. Bone broth is also best used as the purest form of preventative medicine and care. Enjoy and please let me know if you try it and how you like it!!

WARNING: This recipe is not vegan or vegetarian!

Go to your local butcher shop for 1/2lb-2lbs organic, grass-fed/pasture-raised/hormone free bones, preferable marrow. You can use beef, bison, turkey, or chicken

Rinse them under cool water well and line the bottom of your stainless steel pot or crockpot

Drizzle 2-4 tbs of apple cider vinegar over the bones. This will draw out all of the nutrients from the bones as it cooks

Sprinkle salt and if you like, pepper, to your desired liking

Throw in 1/2 yellow onion chopped into quarters

2-4 cloves of garlic

Cover with 4 cups of water, or more depending on your pot. Just make sure everything is covered.

OPTIONAL: Feel free to throw in any extra herbs you like! Such as turmeric, paprika, cayenne pepper, and dill. And if you’d like to make this into a stew, you can also throw in any veggies you like such as potatoes, carrots, and parsnips.

Cook on low for 12-24 hours. The longer is cooks, the more nutrient dense it will be!

When it’s done, strain the soup and discard the rest of the contents if you’re only looking for the broth. This broth will freeze very well!

If you’re putting it in the fridge and you go to get it the next day, you’ll notice a thin, white layer of fat that has gathered at the top. You can simply scrape that off, toss, and proceed to enjoy!!

 

To your radiant health and wellness!!

XOXO

Em

Victimhood. It shows up in so many different ways throughout our lives, and what most people don’t realize is that this not only affects us on a personal level, but inter-personally and globally as well.

I personally have spent most of my life in a state of victimhood, which I go deeper into in my earlier blog posts. It created disease, illness, and imbalanced conditions in my body, disconnect and toxicity in my friendships and relationships, and kept me in a state of lack. See I used to believe as a child that by presenting myself as victim and creating this persona for myself, that would get me support, sympathy, and attention when I felt without. I believed – not just thought – that was the ultimate way to receive love. And I made excuses for people, about how they treated me when it was poor and disrespectful. I also thought it was I who was the problem and did something wrong. Which leads me to what I really want to dive into…

“Hurt people hurt others.”

While true, this is also an excuse we use to validate someone else’ poor and usually hurtful behavior. I know because I’ve been there, multiple times. And it’s not to say the actual person is bad, because they’re most certainly not! But it’s a way of letting someone else get away with hurting us or another just because they’re most likely unconscious of a wound they need to tend to within. How is anything going to change if we don’t do anything about it? We teach people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves. This is just another reason why I stress self-love. Because self-love is empowerment, and part of that is speaking up and speaking our truth, even when our voice shakes. And by not speaking up to others, especially when it comes to our needs and standing our ground, we are actually doing a disservice to others and prohibiting their growth. Maybe, just maybe, we were placed with that person to help them learn a lesson in compassion and forgiveness. And even if we speak up and call someone out on their behavior and it doesn’t look like it’s going to make a difference, it does! Because you not only exercised your personal power, you have also planted a seed within them since most likely you are or either will not be the first person to do that for them. You are inspiring change within them on some level, even if it may take a little time to shift and acknowledge it. It’s also not up to us to force someone to change, or simply to take responsibility for their own lives. We just need to hold space and hold up the mirror.

If you were the one who unintentionally hurt another, empowerment can also look like you taking ownership and responsibility for the part you played.

I also want to briefly touch upon the effect this all has on a global level. Now I’m not normally one to discuss politics, but this is too important. Everything that we’re seeing with the #metoo movement, women’s and trans-rights, it’s all coming up to show us where we need to step back into our own personal power. When we’re still coming from old conditions and mindsets of victimhood, have you noticed that the term being used is “fighting back”? Because that’s just what’s happening, and this energy of fight is only going to be exactly that. But if we take the time, and this is what the purpose is, to go inwards and look to why we’re being triggered, do the work, and become empowered, THAT is when we’ve won. That is when people come together and create not only change, but lasting change. This strife that’s around us is showing up in our fields and attention to provoke us to do the inner work. The universe is on our side and what is happening is for not, not happening to us. And when we can honestly and truthfully see it like that, that is the moment when you know you’ve taken your power back. Sometimes empowerment just looks like tending to your own wounds and triggers. To me that takes immense strength that’s often overlooked.

Becoming empowered will change, shift, and transform your life on every single level. Too often when something doesn’t go our way, our immediate reaction is to put blame on someone or something else. But the truth is, when you become aware that you are a divine co-creator with Source and the universe, and that everything you are experiencing in your outer reality is only a byproduct of your thoughts and emotions, you are able to take responsibility (i.e. take your power back) and start creating the life that you actually want, and that’s on your side. I mean the truth is it’s always on your side. Even the strife and hardships. We’re all here to heal, learn, and grow. The inner work is and will never be done. You’ll only grow to new stages that are preparing you for that next level, and ultimately next lifetime or chapter after we pass on.

And empowerment vs. victim mentality is no different when it comes to our health and bodies. We have created everything we’re experiencing in our bodies and it’s time to take responsibility for that too. So if you’re dealing with something chronic like migraines, gut health issues, pain, inflammation, honestly it doesn’t matter how serious it is – stop and go inwards. What version of you created this? What were they thinking at the time? What were they feeling? And what was the lesson they needed to learn? It’s only old programming that just needs to be worked through. You have the power to heal it all. We are an extension of the divine – of pure source love – so wouldn’t it make sense that the energy that created us not only unconditionally loves us, but wants us to be happy, healthy, and free? This might take a minute to sort through, but the impact this has…where there’s a will, there’s a way 😉

If most of you don’t already know, for the majority of my professional life, I’ve been a makeup artist and a licensed esthetician. And more than that, I had been struggling with acne, severe tummy and gut health issues, and an extreme lack of self-worth and self-love for years on years on years. I loved what I did for a while. I was helping people feel good about themselves, which for a short period of time helped me feel better about myself. But it was superficial for me, and when it came to the skincare aspect, well that was a business of maintenance, not actually helping myself or anyone else get to the root of what’s going on in their bodies.

Think back to the initial age of puberty. Sure, hormones start going awry, and genetics certainly play a factor, but let’s go deeper. Kids at that age are entering a new phase of their life – more eyes on them, more of an awareness of identity and self, and sparks of new romantic awareness begin to anchor. And what is normally the first thought processes that are occurring? “Am I good enough?” “Do you think they notice me?” We begin to at least superficially question who we are and what we’re worth. Our subconscious becomes triggered and one of the easiest ways for that to physically manifest is through our physical bodies, i.e. our skin.

If you’re familiar with Louise Hay and her book, Heal Your Body, you know that one of the primary roots of acne and skin outbreaks is unworthiness and a lack of self-love. Facial acne represents an unwillingness to FACE ourselves or something deeper in our lives. It is the resistance and disbelief to see and feel and KNOW our true self. The beauty of our true self. To ultimately unconditionally love ourselves. The other root cause is anger.

But let’s go even deeper and connect this to gut health. Our gut – our core – is the home of our solar plexus. The place of our power, self-esteem, and confidence. When we give our power away, sometimes by not establishing proper boundaries and being able to say no when necessary to someone, allowing others to disrespect us, etc, that right there is lack of self-worth. And how is that going to manifest? Through our skin, through symptoms for our tummies like upset stomachs, gas, even food allergies!

Now as I often talk about, a physical symptom is never just a symptom. A symptom is simply a message, from our body’s innate wisdom, to a deeper issue. And one of the reasons we experience a symptom is because there is something we’re suppressing or that we’re not processing correctly. And more often than not, that’s an emotion. Most commonly it’s fear, anger, or sadness. And those emotions, even if you’re choosing not to consciously feel or face them, have to be released or expressed somehow.

When someone comes to me with issues around gut health and imbalances, the first question I ask and the energy I connect to during our session is “where are you not digesting life?” And touching on food allergies in particular, “what in life are you resisting and where?” Now while food allergies can often connect to a past life trauma or karma, which can easily be cleared, one of the first and easiest ways it can manifest besides through the tummy, is through our skin. So let’s say someone is breaking out after eating gluten or dairy, and the symptoms kind of subside through restriction in the diet. That’s great, but that’s temporary, and the truth is, it’s a band-aid. We’re not here to restrict ourselves – in any way shape or form. If it’s a conscious choice, then that’s a personal choice. But if you are choosing to restrict something solely for the fact of trying to heal, you’re not actually going to heal. You’re still avoiding what’s truly going on within your body. And more than that, you’re avoiding what’s really going on emotionally or in your subconscious and unconscious.

So when you experience a symptom after eating a certain food, we definitely need to see where the allergy is coming from and what’s causing it, but the connection between the food and the symptom is not even actually about that. It’s just the easiest way for your body and sub-conscious to get your attention. Make sense? We put all these rules and structures around what we eat and when, and it’s through those limiting beliefs and structures that the allergies can be created, the body dysmorphia, the weight imbalances. Our emotions begin to become attached and affected, therefore putting more energy behind these self-imposed beliefs and affecting our digestion. We also need to look at our emotional state while we’re eating. Take someone who celebrates life and celebrates their food. Maybe even just someone having a great day. They feel good about themselves, they feel good about their body. Their digestion is going to look and feel a lot better than someone who let’s say is stressed about their day, angry about something or with someone (anger is also the root of indigestion and heartburn), or someone who is counting calories or feeling guilt or shame about what they’re eating.

If you’re eating something you’re enjoying, enjoy it. Feel good about it. If you are mentally telling yourself, “I shouldn’t be eating this” or “I’m gonna gain weight” or “this is going to bloat me” or even worrying about what workout you’re going to do to work off what you ate or drank, your body hears those thoughts. And it’s those thoughts that are going to be processed as emotions and limiting beliefs, thereby manifesting as a sluggish digestive system, weight gain, bloat, etc. Your thoughts create your beliefs.

When you are restricting your diet, when you’re restricting something with your health and your body, you are restricting self-love and self-worth. Your condemnation is like putting yourself in a self-imposed prison and you’re essentially giving yourself another reason and another excuse to not enjoy your life.

So while it is of course important to be conscious of what we’re feeding our bodies and our skin, there are environmental factors, so on and so forth, and you can spend thousands of dollars on products and getting the facials (which I’ll admit I’ve always been a sucker for and are a form of self-care), following the diets, taking the supplements, this is all just maintenance. You have to stop the avoidance and ask yourself why and where you’re not giving yourself permission to experience the full, radiant health you’re here to experience in this lifetime. It is your birthright to be unconditionally healthy and happy!! And again going deeper than that, where are you not fully LOVING yourself? Where are you giving your power away and not standing fully in your light and your truth? And maybe even more important than that, we need to look at our beliefs around healing. Do we fully believe that we can heal, or are we giving ourselves full permission to heal?!

Our relationship with Self is the most important and must be the most sacred. Instead of shaming and berating ourselves, we need to look at what’s showing up in and outside of our bodies as messages, and instead of immediately reacting in anger, take a breath and connect. Take the time to ASK what’s going on within instead of staying on that vicious cycle of a hamster wheel, constantly trying to seek answers elsewhere outside of yourself. Because the truth it, they won’t come. Think about it for a second-if our thoughts create our reality, it must be that that’s the case with our health and bodies as well. What’s going on internally will show up externally as a symptom. As acne, as pain, as some sort of physical expression.

You have the power to heal and manifest anything and everything in your life. There are NO exceptions! A healer like me simply awakens you to that truth, and assists you in going to deeper to get answers. It’s YOUR higher self and inner being that is guiding us to what is actually going on and simultaneously clearing and healing it WITH you, not FOR you. And the right person, like me, will teach you to connect deeper and be able to do this work at home, on your own. It is your power and it is your birthright. But it all begins and ends within.

A dear friend said something to me the other day that was so simple, yet so profound and has stayed with me. “Disease is the absence of perfection.” I’m sure if you were to sit and think about the topic of health right now, you can think of at least 1 person in your life, aside from yourself if it pertains to you, that if suffering from a chronic illness or disease that they were told was “incurable.”

I was one of those people. By now I hope most of you have rest my earlier post sharing my story about what led me to where I am now. A lot of it pertained to my physical health, which is of course connected to my energetic and emotional health. Well, I left something out. For many years, I struggled with a nerve disorder called vulvar vestibulitis, sometimes more commonly known as vulvodynia. Basically, an inflammatory disorder of the nerves at the opening of the vagina. How they diagnose it “officially” is with a Q-Tip test. They LIGHTLY touch the 4 nerves with a Q-Tip and if you suffer from this condition, you want to scream and jump off the table in pain. Most doctors have no explanation for this phenomenon, and while there is treatment, there’s no cure. At least no traditional cure.

When I was little, and I mean around the age of 5 or 6, I would wake up in the middle of the night with stabbing pains, down there. I didn’t know how to describe it, so I called it “the pushing problem.” It would cause me constant tears and so much pain for my parents watching me suffer and trying to figure out all they could to try to understand what was happening and help me. I honestly don’t remember seeing any traditional doctors for it at the time, but I do remember trying homeopathy which caused some relief. After a while, it seemed to just go away on its own

The next time I noticed the issue was in my early teens attempting to use a tampon. I couldn’t. Fast forward to my college years to when I became sexually active, and really realized there was a serious problem.

Most people who suffer from vulvodynia are in a constant burning pain and have to avoid wearing leggins and doing certain activities. For me, i was only triggered when the nerves were touched in some way. I can’t begin to tell you the excruciating pain sex caused me. For a while I tried to suffer through it because of embarrassment and wanting to please my partner, but inside I would be screaming and crying, and wishing it to be over. I went about 5 years staying abstinent. Many people who suffer with this condition also suffer from the bladder disorder I was struggling with at the time. Usually it’s the entire pelvic floor that’s weak. Point blank, you don’t feel like a normal, healthy, thriving woman, and honestly just hopeless. I tried all the treatments, including pelvic floor physical therapy, dialators to “stretch” the area, nerve blockers, anti-inflammatories, and botox shots INTO the actual nerves. That was definitely one of the worst experiences of my life! I wouldn’t wish that upon my worst enemy! The only thing I didn’t do was surgery, which most of the time is unsuccessful.

But just like my bladder issue, I refused to let anything stop me. I had to take things into my own hands. I wanted a healthy sex life like any other healthy woman and a long-lasting, thriving relationship with a husband one day. No woman should ever have to put numbing cream on her vagina before getting intimate. Lemme tell ya, def a mood killer! NOTHING was going to stop me!! And as I developed my spiritual practice and learned more and more about energy work and healing, I finally found answers here too.

When we’re told something is incurable, it’s simply because the answers- the root cause of something- not only haven’t been found yet, but because that person hasn’t asked enough questions, hasn’t looked deep enough, and hasn’t turned to non-traditional options. I mean just look at our physical bodies. We have this amazing system with amazing structures, with billions of nerves and cells that communicate with each other, our organs, tissues, etc. We have a natural circadian rhythm, brilliant communication keeping us breathing and our heart beating. It should stand to reason that our bodies have the knowledge and wherewithal to be able to heal itself naturally in every single regard. Just look at our skin when we cut ourselves. But sometimes wires can get crossed and that communication can go a little wonky. Don’t worry, that’s the proper medical definition 😉 As I often like to remind people, we are an eternal soul- made of energy- having a human experience. We are a multidimensional soul with multidimensional bodies. Within our physical bodies, the two most prominent are the emotional body and the etheric/energetic body (the same body that creates dysfunctional cords that we need to cut during energy work). These are the eternal bodies that incarnate with us. Energy can only change and transmute, never die. These bodies, connected to our soul and along with our soul are the ones that hold onto past memories, abuse, trauma, and pain. It’s why sometimes some people are born with certain disorders, some souls have it in their blueprint to experience various health abnormalities at a certain point in their lives, and sometimes during instances of trauma and shock during the physical incarnation like abuse or a car accident, certain areas of our bodies already holding onto past energetic blocks or stagnation can get triggered. And here is when it can get a little more gray. Often times, we choose our experiences if it’s for our ultimate soul growth or for that of another. This is why healing is never black and white! One protocol that works on one person may not work on another, except for energy work if it is for something we’re meant to heal. There is always a lesson to be had.

The only reason energy work will not be effective if their experience is related to how that soul has chosen to pass from this lifetime.

But back to my story. Through countless energy work sessions, intuitive readings, and past life regressions, I learned that I’ve experienced many, many lifetimes of sexual assault and rape – those I suffered from and those where I caused harm to others, therefore balancing karma, and feelings of disconnect within my soul from having a physical body and being a woman. This was not going to be an overnight process, but I was going to continue to peel back the layers and heal. I also learned that I chose what I was going to experience with my health here as Emily Pogany in order to heal them and ultimately be of service as a healer and teacher through energy work. All of my pain, suffering, discomfort, and hardship was to ultimately lead to, uncover, and reconnect me back to my life purpose and soul’s mission. It often takes finding our light by traversing through the dark.

Most of my work in this area was through forgiveness. Forgiving those who hurt me in the past, as well as asking for their forgiveness. I’ve had to do and continue to do chakra work and healing to keep those areas balanced. But the biggest piece which I have now finally and successfully healed, balanced, and made peace with under this Cancer new moon eclipse energy, is the connection to my femininity, womanhood, and sexual energy. I now honor myself as a woman and a sexual being. I chose to feel safe being a woman, and all that entails. I stopped blocking my sexual nature and energy and decided to see it and honor it for what it TRULY is – creative, LIFE FORCE energy. Although I obviously chose this lifetime and incarnation, there were aspects of my internal bodies (we have about 11) and soul that weren’t comfortable here. They didn’t feel safe here. If we’re really getting deep and woo-woo, being a human here on earth felt very traumatic to me. In my previous blog post, I talked about how I never really felt like I belonged here and all that encompassed. This most certainly was a part of it. But it took me truly going within, asking the proper questions, and being open to receiving the guidance I needed to re-balance myself on all levels and ultimately heal. And I did.

Don’t you see?! We are all healers in our own right and we all possess the tools within to heal, mind, body, and soul. A symptom is only just a message. At its core, our souls are whole, divine, and perfect. We are never broken. It knows what to do to do heal, and it takes moving out of our own way, our humanness, to let it do its thing. Our bodies also here what we think and say, so talk to it and kindly. Give your body permission to be led by your soul and higher-self in order to heal. Sometimes giving it that permission will unlock whatever resistance it’s been holding onto. Remind yourself that you are safe, and you are safe to heal. And only you have the power to make that decision for yourself, and OWN it.

If you’re someone with a chronic condition, choosing to simply “manage” it, it’s always brave when you choose to share your story. However, and forgive me, but how is it brave when you’re ignoring the messages your body is so desperately trying to convey to you?! We have the ability and capability to completely heal and transform our bodies. True healing is never finished until we get to the root of the symptom and understand the message.

Teaching a person to manage a chronic illness, disease, or condition is basically telling them to ignore the innate wisdom of their body and soul. How is it “light and love” if you’re withholding that truth? By withholding truth, you are essentially preventing another’s healing, fulfillment, and ultimate becoming. Stop tip-toeing around healing and wake up to the truth! Keep digging until you get the answer. It’s there. And we’re all gifted with intuition and the ability to communicate deep within through meditation and getting quiet. But sometimes when we’re “in it,” it takes reaching out to an energy healer for support in uncovering the foggy layers. I often say healing is like peeling back layers of an onion, or taking off layer by layer of clothing in the winter. Like Joey from Friends wearing all of Chandler’s clothes in The One Where No One’s Ready. And once something is cleared through energy work, that’s it. It’s gone. You no longer have to carry that with you for your next incarnation. If you clear something that was being carried within your lineage, you no longer pass it down through the next generation and the next one.

See what I’m sayin’ here? YOU, my love, are the cure. you just need to open up and allow yourself the connection and do the work.

Summer is normally a time we consider to be “lighthearted and free,” enjoying time in the sun with our friends and family, without a care in the world! And while that should still be the case, if you’re reading this blog right now, you’ve already noticed something within you may be awry. You might have been feeling tired or lethargic, sleeping later than normal (or at least wanting to), frustrated, sensitive around others, flying off the handles a little more than usual or that you’d like to care to admit, or basically all-around emotional.

We can thank the cosmos for this! Beginning this summer, we can expect, and already have, a bevy of activity from the summer equinox, cancer AND eclipse season, and 6 – you read that right- planets in retrograde!! But not to worry, because I’m going to break down exactly what’s going on and how to best navigate the energies and take care of yourself so that when all is said and done, you feel nourished, healed, and ready for your ultimate rebirth! So let’s get into it!

Let’s start with cancer season. The crab makes her journey from June 21-July 22nd. She’s a feminine energy and finds her home with the element of water. We often find ourselves the most sensitive and emotional at the drop of a hat during this time and Pisces season. This is a time for us to better learn and understand our emotional depth and feelings instead of burying and pushing them aside or judging them. We’re all here because we’ve chosen to be human during this incarnation and experience the full range of human emotion. Not to mention, we are comprised of equal parts divine feminine and divine masculine. This is a time to better understand and balance the feminine, our nurturing and receptive nature. We get to soften up here and get to know ourselves on a deeper, more intimate level. And this goes for both men and women!! You’ll find with the cancers in your life, they may present themselves with a tough shell and outer exterior, but once they let you in, or you push your way in, they are some of the most sensitive, loving souls whose vulnerability needs to be honored and kept safe.

One of the best ways to connect with this energy is through the element of water. That could be immersing yourself into any body of water such as the ocean, or a lake. But most of you already know my FAVORITE self-care ritual during this time, and pretty much all the time, which is a sea-salt bath! And we’re really talking soaking, not a full on bath like when we were kids. I often recommend loading up your bath with some epsom, himalayan, or sea-salt, your favorite essential oils, and an extra addition which would be extremely healing and powerful at this time, fresh flowers! Light some candles, grab your favorite crystals (2 of the best for this period are selenite and rose quartz), and soak for a minimum of 20 minutes. I suggest using my suuuper yummy, high-vibe zodiac bath salts which are energy charged for your personally! You can pick some up HERE! They also contain a keepsake crystal for you to use specifically with your bath ritual or any time the need calls! Use this time to connect with your intuition, visualize your bath water as the purest, most beautiful white/golden/pink light, healing your body and fields from the inside out. I often like to call upon ascended master Kuan Yin to help me be more gentle and compassionate with myself and others. Be open to receiving any healing or messages you need most and just honor yourself exactly as you are and where you are. When you’re done, you can do a cold water rinse in the shower, and follow up with any other yummy self-care like a DYI facial or a self-massage with warm oil or lotion. Your body is your sacred vessel! Treat it as such.

I also recommend having a good cry when needed! Our bodies are primarily made up of water, and one of the best ways to release old, limiting, stale energies is through our tears. Think of how much lighter you feel after a good cry! And let’s be real here, stop feeling so vulnerable and ugly-cry when necessary! Go somewhere you can be alone to go crazy and let it out!! And before we wrap this section up, now is a great time to get some good workouts in and sweat out what doesn’t serve you. You can also do this by visiting a sauna. Just make sure you’re sweating and the energy is moving through you! And last but not least, make sure to hydrate with some good, ol’ fashioned WATER!!

Now let’s get into the retrogrades. Let me just start this off by saying the key to navigating energy of any kind is through meditation. It’s the best way to remain calm, return back to your center with ease and grace, and understand more of whatever is going on for your soul’s journey and how best to heal. If you’re new to meditation or want to learn where to start, you can check out my Back to Basics Guidebook HERE. I’m just going to touch upon each of the retrogrades and the best self-care and tools to get through them with flying colors! This will also ring especially true for the eclipse portals in order to fully release what doesn’t serve you and allow those doors to close with ease and grace, while simultaneously allowing for new beginnings and divine downloads on how to progress, heal, and move forward.

First we have Jupiter, the planet of luck and expansion, who has been retrograde since March 8th and will be finishing up its backwards cycle on July 10th. Jupiter has been purifying our lives, through our physical bodies, as well as having us look at our thought processes and the values we hold most dear. Have they ultimately served us or have you been noticing where fear has been limiting you and making you think small? This has been a big time of physical cleansing and purging, making it an excellent time for a cleanse or detox program. Please just make sure you are honoring your body and following a protocol that most resonates with what you need most – NOT what’s “trendy.” Many people have found themselves coming down with the flu, colds, and tummy troubles which can often symbolize release. It’s important to remember not to berate yourself if that happens and trust the wisdom of your body. Again, make sure you’re also getting some physical movement in and getting some sweat going.

Next we have Saturn who turned retrograde back in April and will be finishing his turn on September 6th. This guy is like the father figure from up above. He’s loving, but tough, disciplined, and wants us to get our hands dirty. He likes teaching us lessons. He’s also known as the Lord of Karma. A lot of our unbalanced karma is now coming up to the light to be amended and sorted through, whether that’s from a past life or present. Old flames and friends may be rearing their heads due to unfinished soul contracts, or you may find yourself repeating a pattern that doesn’t serve you somewhere in your life and relationships. You might just need to acknowledge a pattern and ask how to do things differently. It might be through forgiveness. Karma has had this stigma attached to it, but it is neither good nor bad. It’s a universal law of balance, of cause and effect. For every action, there is a reaction. During this period, we are being asked to look at the commitments we’ve made and see if they still serve us and which ones we’d still like to keep.

Pluto also began its retrograde cycle back in April and will finish up on September 30th. Here the focus is on our subconscious – old limiting beliefs and toxic people we’re still holding onto that don’t serve us. It will be peeling back layers, asking what is ultimately true for you? It’s a time to grow and expand your consciousness and connect even deeper to your spiritual growth and practice. Remember that most of the time, it’s the subcon that’s running the show, so if there have been things that you’ve been working on manifesting to no avail, look at the beliefs you’ve been carrying there. You have the choice and the power to change and rewrite your beliefs at any time.

Next comes a long retrograde we got going with Neptune, who started its cycle in June and will continue until November 24th. Neptune will unveil any negative emotional energy such as fear or lack of self-love and acceptance, and unlock them in a way that you’re able to release them peacefully. Not only is the focus here on emotional energy, but on creativity as well. It’s the perfect time to do some sacral chakra work as these energies go hand in hand. You’ll really be able to get in touch with that sacred, feminine fire within, assisting you in releasing any self-sabotaging patterns or tendencies. Connect to this energy center, which vibrates to the color orange, through meditation, yoga, creative pursuits such as dance or art, and through, I know you’re gonna love this one, some passionate sexual activity!

We have mars which stationed retro at the end of last month, and who goes direct August 27th. Mars, the warrior, who is normally about fire, determination, and action, has us looking at where we’ve been slacking. Has there been a pursuit or goal of yours where deep down you know you haven’t really been putting in the time or effort? That’s definitely be true for me! While the energy right now has been slower, this is not the time to just lay back and relax until things move forward again! Every step forward, no matter how small, count at every point in time! Regardless of what’s happening, each day ask yourself “what can I do today that will take me closer to my dreams?” This period will help you reawaken your motivation, so I recommend revisiting your “why.”

We then have a biggie with chiron, who’s actually not a planet but a comet. Known as the “Wounded Healer,” This retrograde period will last the longest, staying with us until the end of 2018 in order to make sure we have completely healed our bodies and souls in preparation for the new year. This healing will take us out of victimhood and into empowerment!

While you don’t have to be well-versed in astrology, I highly recommend jumping on a site like astrotwins.com to check out your own natal chart to see where chiron falls. That placement represents our deepest wounds and shows us how to heal them. Make sure to look at the specific house your placement of chiron is in and what that house represents. I’ll give you an example, my chiron falls in my 3rd house in gemini, showing me that my deepest wounds have always been reflected in my self-worth and acceptance. I’ve done immense healing already in that area, but now because I have this knowledge, I continue to be empowered by knowing where some of my trigger may still lie. Our souls come into these incarnations with various lessons to be learned for its ultimate growth. And what you have to remember is that by learning these lessons and healing, we are impacting those around us through THEIR lessons and ultimate healing!

And last but not least, we have mercury going retrograde on July 26th in Leo. We all know the basics – it’s a time to re-evaluate, reconnect, revisit, and recharge. Frankly, I’m sick and tired of all the doom and gloom being put out there. Just be smart and aware here. Avoid signing any contracts or purchasing large electronics or equipment, try to avoid updating your phone’s software or getting your car serviced UNLESS you need to fix (AMEND) something which has been long overdue, and communicate efficiently and thoroughly. This is not a time to be feared. I talk more about how to properly navigate the energy of this period in my Back to Basics and Goddess on the Go travel guide which delves more into traveling during MR, but again – be gentle and PATIENT with yourself and others during this time.

We have built up such a stereotype around retrogrades, but it’s just a matter of taking the time to understand what each one represents in order to fully harness the goodness and the healing that can come out of it! Nature is always a great metaphor for life. There are times of hibernation, slowing down, and preparation, and there are time of harvest, blossoming, and blooming. None more important than the other, but all working in conjunction with one another. We need those times of stillness in order to hear the whispers of guidance on how to properly and effectively thrive and move forward. Go into these times with enthusiasm and an open mind, and take the time to pause and reconnect back to yourself through any blips or seeming chaos that life may throw at you. It is all happening FOR you, not TO you, and it’s all for your ultimate benefit, knowledge, and healing.

Don’t be afraid to reach out for love and support during this time as well, making it a perfect opportunity for energy work. You can work with me 1:1 in a variety of ways at the following links:

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And make sure to join my Moon Circle Membership which you can find more information about below!

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I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that spirituality has started to become marketed very differently than it has in the past. This is because the collective consciousness is waking up FAST, meaning situations are arising left and right that are calling for more truth and more light.

What exactly do I mean?

Well, in as little as 10 years ago, when I was first really venturing onto my path of spirituality and developing my own practice, the only phrase I ever heard was, “love and light.” I had read and watched The Secret like most people, telling me how thoughts become things and to stick to a positive mindset at all times. Crystals were being marketed as master healers for this condition and this emotional trauma. “Wear this crystal at all times and all your anxiety will disappear!” Everything, at least from my perception were being marketed as all rainbows and unicorns. And now looking back, maybe that’s the story I was projecting at the time.

But I hear too many similar stories. And if it weren’t for a dear friend of mine preparing me and prepping me for life not only as a healer, but following any sort of spiritual practice, my journey would probably look very differently.

Jumping back to the present, I’m noticing more of a call to action. More healers and practitioners are sharing more deeply and vulnerably. They’re speaking their truths louder, and calling on others to do the same. There are more and more men and women every day being called to areas of reiki, life coaching, and other holistic healing modalities. Which says right there that there are more people in need of healing than there are healers. I’m also sure you’ve heard the word “lightworker” being tossed around as well.

That is who we are. That is our truth. Even if you do not find yourself in a commonly known healing modality, if you are someone who is called to service, or even someone who has others come to them for love and support, you are a light worker.

I feel like lightworkers and healers are often regarded in the same stereotype as spirituality. That the grass is always greener, the glass is always half full, and to always shine that light and love! But I now feel a responsibility to share the truth. And even while spirituality is quite personal and means something different and looks different for everyone, it’s time to shine a light on what being a lightworker really entails.

Now I’m going to use manifestation as a prime example here. As mentioned in The Secret, it’s all about a positive mindset. I personally don’t like the term “spiritual bypassing” and the judgment I’ve noticed others place upon the various ways of learning manifestation and healing in particular. But I do feel it’s important to set the record straight on some truths that have been omitted. So let’s break things down with ease!

We’re a human being. But more than that, we are an eternal, limitless soul having a human experience. Many healers, including myself, like to call this experience “Earth School.” We come here to learn specific lessons, rebalance any karmas from previous incarnations, and experience the full range of human emotions. We are manifesting every minute, of every hour, of every day. And while it is our thoughts that manifest our reality, contrary to popular belief, you are NOT expected to be happy and”high vibe” 24/7. That is physically impossible. It is your responsibility however to be conscious of how you’re thinking and feeling, and to remember that you get to choose how you want to feel. We do need to be in a higher vibration and frequency, such as love and joy, in order to manifest our desires. So lets’ say you wake up one day feeling like the world is your oyster and you’re on top of the world! You also may be working on purposely manifesting a promotion or a raise. So you’re driving to work and someone cuts you off and maybe you accidentally spill coffee on your favorite shirt.

You have two options: You can curse of the person in the other car, have some negative self-berating thoughts like “how could I be so stupid?!” and walk around the for the rest of the day consciously thinking to yourself, can this day get any worse? (Answer: it can, and the more you ask that question, the more you command that energy from the universe. You may also start feeling like you’ve somehow ruined or sabotaged your manifestation.

OR you can be mad for a good few minutes. Maybe an hour. You can feel frustrated and annoyed, because let’s be honest, when those things happen, it sucks! But now is where you can do things differently. Maybe you have a few extra minutes to stop on the way to work and pick up a cute sweater or pin to throw on top of that coffee stain. Or maybe you can simply just remember how you felt earlier that morning and CHOOSE to reconnect to how that felt, and spend the remainder of the day in that vibe. You see? It’s a matter of choosing, but still remembering not to beat yourself up. Remembering the love you have for yourself and being gentle, as if you were speaking to your child or a loved one who may have experienced the same thing you have. You wouldn’t berate them and tell them their day is ruined, would you? No! You would give them the space and time needed to feel exactly how they feel, let them know it’s ok, and lift them back up. Also, these things still happen to people who get raises and promotions because they’re human too! 😉

As talked about in my previous post sharing my story, it’s not that simple or easy for some people to shake a bad mood or a painful experience as it is for others. One of the biggest pieces of self-love is honoring our emotions and doing whatever we need to do to move through it to heal. The quickest way out is through, but it is necessary to feel. Too many people are afraid to feel for fear of judgment that they’re somehow weak, or afraid they won’t be able to ever see the light at the end of the tunnel. Who taught us that? My guess is the ego, which is the part of our psyche that tries to prevent us from fulfilling our soul’s mission and life purpose. Our destiny. It’s that little voice within that tells us we’re not enough. We’re weak. People aren’t going to love us, accept us, and that they’re going to think less of us. But I’m here to remind you that that voice IS. NOT. YOU. Your voice is that of your heart and soul. That voice is your true voice. The ego likes to keep us small, so it’s important when we have those limiting thoughts not to judge them, and to ask ourselves, “is this ultimately true?” And take action accordingly.

We have got to own our life experience and stop being so hard on ourselves for making mistakes and feeling differently than what we think we should be feeling! Energy work and healing, and being spiritual is shining a light on our shadow side, our dark parts, in order to heal and balance ourselves and our bodies. To balance our minds, bodies, and souls. We are all, along with the universe, are comprised of both light and dark. We shy away from the dark before really taking the time to learn what that really means. First, in regards to the darkness within, we all have it. And it’s in the shadow where our most powerful medicine lays. It’s uncovering all of these parts where we truly see what we’re made of, and thus learn about ourselves so deeply and intimately that we have no choice but to come back to our wholeness and be of service for our highest good and the highest good of all involved. It’s in this learning too that we take our power back and we experience the deepest self-love, honoring our true value and worth, and healing and upleveling all the other relationships in our lives. This is where the true magic really occurs.

But what most people also don’t talk about is the work in light work. It’s always beautiful, but oftentimes it’s messy and it feels chaotic. It can feel never-ending at times. I for one had to go through so many times where I felt like I hit rock bottom. Like I was just empty and didn’t know what the point was anymore. You can start getting into your head and question yourself. You question your life. But what I’ve learned is that you get to choose whether you want to stay in that place or not. Energy  works entails facing these dark parts, all parts of our self really and ask ourselves what serves us and what old stories, limiting beliefs and patterns no longer serve us. And then we take action accordingly, such as forgiveness work, journaling, meditating, talking to a loved one, or just choosing that it’s time for things to be different. You are perfect and loved REGARDLESS!! A caterpillar does not force itself to become a butterfly. It doesn’t judge the timeless of when it occurs or how long it takes. It moves along with every step of the journey, because the end result is going to be the same, and it’s going to be beautiful. Stop comparing your journey to someone else’s, especially if it’s someone you only follow on social media. You don’t know how long it took them or what they’ve had to go through to get to where they are in the present. Each soul comes here with a specific mission, and some things they need to learn at various paces and timelines. You are exactly where you need to be and you are equipped with the knowledge and tools to get you where you need to go. Always be gentle, loving, and patient with yourself. There are no shoulds or shoudn’ts, and NO ONE is happy-go-lucky at all hours of the day. That may only be what they are presenting themselves as to the public.

Now let’s move into universal light and dark. I speak about this often, but I’m going to continue for however long it takes. There is duality to everything. There is always light and dark, with shades of gray of course. And we are currently living in a time where our light is being called upon to raise the vibration of this earth, this universe, and combat the dark. Our earth is a feminine energy that has become overrun with the masculine. But more than that, dark forces have been running rampant. They have found comfort in our government, the medical field, and as most of us know, the entertainment industry. Many of us are familiar with theories about the Illuminati, the greys, so on and so forth, but I’m not here to really dive deep into that, but it is important we become aware of the truth. I mentioned at the beginning of this post that there is a reason we’ve been seeing such shake-ups in our world right now, with the current president in office, climate change and becoming more eco-conscious, the #metoo movement, and the rise of food awareness and the inclusion of natural healing modalities with western medicine. We are in a period of a new revolution, you are a part of a new revolution, where our voices are needed even louder and are being heard! And we need to stand up in place of integrity instead of anger. While it’s ok to be angry and pissed off, darkness cannot fight darkness. They will definitely try and fight back, but it’s only shining our light brighter and bolder that dissipates and ultimately banishes the dark. Fear is simply just the absence of love.

Even on a smaller scale, when we go to places like bars, clubs, or just areas with larger crowds such as the airport or amusement parks, we need to understand these energetic principals. We’re becoming more empathic and sensitive to energies, and as we continue to step into our role as a lightworker, or even just progress on our spiritual path, dark forces and energies like to wait around for the slightest crack in our field. And if we’re not careful, we can allow lower vibrations, energies, and entities to attach themselves to us. When this happens, we can experience our moods shifting at a moments’ notice. We can feel fear, anger, anxiety, and depression. We can feel tired and drained. Sometimes we just don’t feel like ourselves. I’m finding more and more in my practice, I have been doing and teaching a lot more banishing and protection work, and teaching you how to take your power back in every instance! There is something to be said for being conscious and working to maintain a higher vibration, and staying in the emotional realms of love and joy in order to keep everything unsavory at bay…and far apart from us. And let me just make it clear, there is nothing to be afraid of! You are always safe, and you always have an angelic team surrounding you to call upon. You will never be possessed and no one and nothing can ever control you, unless you consciously give it power. Nothing is every going to swoop in the minute you feel sad or afraid. Remember, always honor your emotions first and foremost as there is always a lesson or blessing, and everything we experience is ultimately for our highest evolution and growth.

So try as we might, we can no longer stay ignorant! It is our responsibility to know and share information on how to protect and clear our energies on a daily basis. You don’t need to be a healer or shaman to do it either. Consider these practices are necessary spiritual maintenance. It is just as important to take care of ourselves on this level as it is to brush our teeth and wash our hands every day. This isn’t just for the woo-woo world any longer. These practices, this work, is universal work. And you my friend are a part of this universe. And if you’re someone who needs a little science thrown into the mix, just think about the concepts of energy and quantum physics. Our entire world, we are all made up of energy. Creating energetic boundaries and taking care of ourselves in that manner may actually be even MORE important than taking care of ourselves physically. I mean still do all of it, because balance and all, but you get my point. Our light and the light of this planet is our strength, and it is essential to our livelihood and that of future generations that we know about and do this work. That we make ourselves a priority and improve our self-care and thus our self-love. I know there are so many people, including myself at one point, who ask themselves who am I to make a difference? But again I’m here to remind you that there are no accidents and source, however you choose to call it, created you and brought you here for a reason. You make a HUGE difference and an impact whether you realize it or not. And it begins within. It all matters on how you’re treating and feeling about yourself. We need you. The planet, this earth, this universe needs you and your unique magic and light.

I want you to take a minute and think of the ripple effect one smile to a stranger can cause. What’s that line from the movie Even Almighty? Once small act of random kindness at a time. But it always starts and ends with yourself.

For all the complete breakdown of the why’s and how to’s of easy but powerful energetic protection, clearing, grounding, and self-care, make sure to grab a copy of my BACK TO BASICS GUIDE!!

If you were to meet me anytime before the past two years, you probably would not recognize me. Appearance-wise, yes, but anything beneath the surface, not so much.

If you read my recap of Soulcation, you’ve already seen me touch upon some of my old stories as they relate to my social life. But I want to go deeper here. I want to delve into a subject that’s at the forefront of the awareness of the collective consciousness right now, especially after the past weeks’ news of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. I want to talk about mental health. And more than that, I want to share my story of suffering from and healing severe, crippling anxiety and depression, as well as what ultimately led me to where I am now. I want to share the knowledge I’ve gained, the healing I’ve experienced, practices I incorporate into my daily routine as well as my business practice, and to let you know that you are not alone. And most importantly, for whatever you’re going through now, or have gone through, you can heal it all.

I’ve always felt like an outsider since before I can remember. I always felt like I got the “short end of the stick.” When I was 5 years old, I had cataract surgery. And it was at the beginning of the school year, so here I was this little thing with a patch over her eye, glasses on top, starting class a few weeks later than everyone else. Only one person at the time  immediately came over and embraced me, but it was definitely a bit isolating. I also want to add, which I recently found out, the surgery was in my left eye, also known as the “seat of the soul” and connected to the divine feminine…something I have been channeling the past few days (I’m 31 now) I need to heal and rebalance. Making the correlation after all these years is mind-blowing to say the least!

Anyway, this feeling of isolation would continue. There was always a part of me, way deep down that knew I came from somewhere else. Like, not of this world. I was the weird kid too. I didn’t have imaginary friends, but I talked to myself. And in public. My mom even has some of those instances on video and I cringe looking back at it. I later came to learn I was a medium and completely unaware that I was channeling, and thankful it wasn’t a symptom of something more serious. I was always interested in the unknown, and ya know, witchy things. I had interests not really heard of for other kids around my age. I had questions about the universe and wanted to learn the mysteries of life. As much as I loved toys, I wasn’t really the girl you asked to play barbies with! School was difficult for me already in a class of 25 people, but then in 7th grade, I made the switch from private to public school and a whole new world was opened up to me. I was also coming from a close knit community of a Jewish day school, so my awareness of other cultures and religions was now expanding for me. Oh and my class was also raised to about 600 people by the time I was in high school. Throughout these years, I made some great friends, but I was also introduced to the “mean girl mentality.” I was also spending my summers at an all-girl sleepaway camp (you east coasters know what I’m talking about!) where I was starting to experience the same issue.

I’ve always been sensitive. I’ve always wanted to be accepted and included like anyone else and I let people push my buttons, easily. I was a people pleaser and let myself be walked all over. Boundaries were just non-existent. I was always afraid that if I spoke up for myself or even just voiced something that I needed or wanted from another, in both friendships and romantically with men, they would get mad at me or simply leave and want nothing to do with me. This was a pattern and a story I would play out and repeat for 20+ years. Who exactly was that serving?! And throughout it all, I have to say I am grateful that I never let life make me “hard.” While I would certainly feel resentful or angry internally about a certain situation or people, I never allowed myself to become closed off as I’ve always believed the sun would shine again and that love and acceptance was right around the corner. Although now I know, it’s always within me waiting for me to reconnect back to it.

Between my junior and senior year of high school is when sh*t hit the fan and things took a turn for the worse. Girls that I thought were my friends were turning on me and publicly humiliating me, 3 of my grandparents passed away fairly close to one another, and my physical health began to decline. I should also note that I was never the most positive person, as hinted at in my opening sentence of this post. The glass was always half empty. Even if there was nothing to complain about, I found something. One day during lunch senior year, a childhood friend had enough of my negativity and called me out. It was embarrassing to say the least and we didn’t speak for months. But looking back in hindsight, it was the kick in the ass I didn’t know I so desperately needed. As that year progressed, things were continuing to decline. I knew nothing of the time of law of attraction, spirituality, and taking responsibility for our own life experience. It was always someone else’s fault or due to an external circumstance. It was almost prom weekend and I finally had enough. I was starting to believe that may I and everyone else would be better off if I just wasn’t around anymore and began contemplating suicide. What was the point? I would play over and over in my head. What value do I bring to anyone? I grew up with an incredible family and a very loving household, but I still felt unloved and unworthy. And I was miserable. I sat with this decision quite seriously, but two things were stopping me from following through. First, I was honestly too scared to do it. And second, there was a part of me truly looking forward to going away to college and having a fresh start. I knew something needed to be done though, so I went on medication. I also began some therapy to no avail. I couldn’t see the effectiveness of just talking through my feelings and having someone present me with questions of how to reevaluate how I was feeling. To be honest it actually angered me and I felt like it was a waste of time.

As my college years progressed, I still struggled in regards to friendships, but I was finding my way. I had some amazing times and experiences! But my health continued to struggle. I was starting to notice in high school that I had to use the restroom more often than normal. It reached its peak my sophomore year of college and I had a procedure that diagnosed me with something called Interstitial Cystitis. Also known as “painful bladder syndrome,” which I actually didn’t have any pain leading later to a misdiagnosis, caused severe urinary frequency and urgency. I had to stop eating some of my favorite foods and become more conscious about sitting in a car for long periods of time. Forget hiking or drinking coffee or alcohol. You can imagine how much fun it was for me turning 21. This was the beginning of all my social and life plans revolving around my proximity to a bathroom. Because of the fact that I was already naturally thin and now had to run off to the bathroom during and after meals, people began assuming, suggesting, and even starting rumors that I had an eating disorder. This was no way to live. One night in college, because I was so used to my symptoms, I had no idea I had a UTI and ended up in the emergency room with a kidney infection. This was one more thing on my already full plate of reasons to be miserable and pretty much hate myself.

I’ll make a long story short and just say that this experience began a loooong journey down a rabbit hole of multiple medications, specialists, diets, and healers which did not do a THING for me. And as time went on, my symptoms got worse and worse. This new way of life had me feeling like a prisoner of my body, subject to its every beck and call. I was still experiencing the same stories of loneliness, abandonment, and ghosting with friends and prospective romantic relationships. I swear I believed I was doomed to be alone forever. I thought I was cursed. What I didn’t know at the time obviously was that this was about to catapult me onto a path that would change my life forever. One that would reintroduce and reconnect me to who I truly was, as well as my path and purpose. Everything happens for a reason. (Ps. I saw that eye roll and exasperated sigh lol!)

A couple years after college was when I began my spiritual journey. My interest and love of the metaphysical seemed the most natural and relevant for me, especially beginning to learn that we can heal ourselves. I never really bought into the “too good to be true” perspective, but also allowed myself a be a bit naive off the bat. I bought all the books and crystals thinking they would do all the “work” for me, and saw every type of healer for every type of reading you can imagine. It was a fun journey, but why wasn’t anything moving or shifting?! My body was fighting me and my life experience was stagnant, but I refused to give up.

I was learning a TON though. I read some amazing books like The Alchemist and Infinite Possibilities which were teaching me exactly how this universe works. And I can honestly say, they have changed my life in how I was approaching my life experience and my interactions with the people in it. There were some healers and readings who did fill in some of the gaps as to why I was experiencing what I was experiencing and cleared a couple layers. But I knew if I wanted to heal, it was time to take things into my own hands and do it myself! I came into this incarnation for that reason and purpose. I also began to learn about star seeds, elementals, and the many origin places our souls come from. Like I mentioned earlier, I always knew I wasn’t from here! And as I journeyed into reiki and my healing practice, that’s when the fun really began! I’m so grateful that one of my best friends here in Los Angeles was also my healer and mentor to walk me through everything, or else I really don’t know if I would’ve made it through. My gifts and abilities were opening up at a pretty progressive rate. What I didn’t know when I was young and extremely sensitive were actually the beginning signs of my life as an empath. But my friend taught me how to harness this gift. She taught me the importance and necessity of clearing and protecting my energy, knowledge we should all be equipped with and what I now teach to others.

I began to learn and see the correlation to everything I went through in my life, socially, personally, with my health and body, etc to one another and how to finally heal. Heal ALL . OF. IT. I was able to see and finally have gratitude for all the pain and discomfort because of how it shaped me into the person I am today and where it brought me to, which is this beautiful place where I am now able to be of service to others. I am able to commend myself for something extremely uncomfortable which was to take responsibility for most of what I experienced because of how I was feeling inside. I learned about thoughts becoming things, and how my negativity was being projected outwards therefore alerting the universe to respond the same in turn. That can be a hard pill to swallow!

What most people don’t understand about having a spiritual practice, is that it’s not all light and love as marketed. While that’s always the goal we’re trying to align with, it’s in facing our shadows and shining a light on the deepest, darkest parts of ourselves and our psyche which is where the true medicine lays and healing begins. And every healer and guru, no matter how advanced they may seem, continues to do that work. It’s why we’re here. This is earth school. Once we’re done learning, it’s off to the next incarnation. We’re not living if we’re not learning. And my loves, it is not easy. Some of the deepest healing is when I’m raw, vulnerable, and bloody, crying until I’ve lost my breath, screaming into a pillow, emptying myself until it feels like there’s nothing left. Because it’s then when a rebirth can transpire. Healing can make you feel like you’re going crazy. I often feel sometimes that in some cases where a person is diagnosed as bipolar, it’s during a time of deep, spiritual transition. We can feel the highest of highs one moment, to all of a sudden our lowest of lows not knowing how or when we’ll rise back up to the surface. I get it because I’ve been through it all and I’ve seen it all. And throughout this process and journey, I’ve learned the true effectiveness of energy healing.

That term gets thrown around quite a bit as woo-woo or a little bit as a blanket explanation. But I’ve come at from multiple perspectives, both spiritually and scientifically. Einstein said match the vibration and frequency of what you want, and you cannot help but receive it. That’s the law of attraction. We are all composed of energy, vibrating at different frequencies and densities. Our human body is a vessel capable of miraculous healing. And living within that vessel is a limitless, eternal energetic being that’s either in sync with vessel or not. What I’ve learned as fact is that all the pain, disease, imbalances, etc we experience in our bodies is also energy. However, stuck and stagnant, meaning it can be transmuted and transformed into ultimate health and wellness. I come from a background of incorporating the balance of western medicine and holistic healing, so while there is a time and place for the western medicine we’re accustomed to, it is extremely important to look at what’s going on emotionally and energetically within the body first. More often than note, once those components are tackled, we negate any need for medication or bandaid solutions. And this 100% includes mental health.

Many mental health disorders correlate to the wiring in the brain. While doctors often say we’re born with these disorders and diseases, they’re only half-right. There are many shades of gray here, so bear with me a moment. On the one hand, our souls often choose many of our physical experiences due to the lessons and blessings that will come from them for both ourselves and those around us. It might be a karmic circumstance where someone from a previous lifetime was our caretaker and this time around we’ve chosen to be theirs. Other times, certain health issues have been carried within us time and time again, stuck energetically in our cells, repeating their signs and symptoms until we clear it. And in those scenarios, the good news is that there is a “cure,” despite common misconceptions that there may not be.

Louise Hay wrote a popular book I’m sure you’re all familiar with called “You Can Heal Your Life.” She breaks down various health issues and symptoms and the emotional correspondence. For bladder issues, it’s anger. And in my healing, I have uncovered and navigated where I was unconsciously and subconsciously feeling that exact emotion, where it originated from, and how to make peace with myself in order to clear it. But there were also other factors I’ve had to work through. Because of how I was feeling internally, like a victim, isolated and alone, and speaking those stories into fruition, my body then began to create another story to support those feelings. It created this situation that continued to push people away and alienate myself, giving myself another reason to put false blame on an external circumstance. And the first step to healing anything is recognition. Recognizing the story we’ve been telling, internally or externally, or both. Once we do that, we can start asking for guidance on telling a new story. While affirmations are absolutely a part of this rewiring of our internal environment, if we don’t do the energetic work and clearing first, the affirmations will have nowhere to land.

The longer we’ve been telling a limiting story or living out the same patterns that don’t serve us, it may take a little longer for the big results to really manifest. The results may seem subtle at first, but they are powerfully effective! Energy moves faster than our physical human form because of our slower density, so it is SO important to be patient with ourselves during this process. There were countless times I wanted to give up and throw in the towel, feeling like I’m doing all this work with nothing to show for it, but it’s in the small movement where we can see the most difference if we simply slow down and take the time to acknowledge it. I always recommend keeping a journal during a healing or any type of spiritual practice so you can go back and see how far you’ve come, especially during those tough moments. Also speaking to a loved one, hearing them share the difference they notice within you can also be insanely inspiring and helpful. It’s also in the times where it feels like nothing is moving or getting done where we have to strengthen our resolve and show ourselves the most love, because self-love is everything here.

It’s the core of my practice and business. If we don’t love ourselves, how are we supposed to receive love from another? Our relationships are a mirror, reflecting back how we TRULY feel about ourselves deep down and what needs the most work or attention. They can also be projectors for how much we’re in alignment with another person. We can reflect back to another where they could use a little more light and love. My anxiety and depression was coming from a place of lack of love, support, and acceptance for myself. And the more I continued to feel that way and care so much about what other people thought of me instead of just doing and being my best, the more I was creating that feeling and experience of isolation and lack for myself. But the more I began to heal my old beliefs around self-love and self-worth and truly feel those things for myself, the more it was reflected back in my life.

Are we starting to see the correlation here? And what most people don’t know as well is that when someone is going through this darkness and this pain, it’s not that easy to just reach out about how they’re feeling. I know for me, I always felt like a burden to others so it was “easier” to pretend or act like I was ok. What we really need is someone to ask if we’re ok if they’re noticing something off. Nudge them if you need to, because not everyone can pull themselves out. It’s the littlest things that can make all the difference sometimes. And the more we open up and share our stories, the more we see we’re really not alone. Many of us have similar stories that we could never even have guessed. By reaching out more and beginning more of a dialogue, who knows how many lives we can save.

Our minds can trick us easily if we let it. It is essential we begin a practice of non-judgmentally observing our thoughts, although we have thousands a day! Just do your best and notice that when you start thinking a limiting thought, take a beat and ask yourself if this ultimately true? If the answer is no, you can start to retrain your brain to one of positive affirmation. And sometimes it’ll feel like you’re lying to yourself, but keeping shifting to something positive, or even just something you’re grateful for for as long as it takes to settle in. As much as many people like to blame their external environment for how they’re feeling or what they’re experiencing, the truth is we are the only ones in control of how we’re feeling in every moment. And it’s up to us to take that responsibility into our own hands to rediscover and design the lives we ultimately want to live here. I mean, how empowering is that to be able to take your power back and DECIDE how you want to feel? And start feeling it! It takes practice so obviously don’t beat yourself up if you’re not winning the lottery or feeling on top of the world immediately, but baby steps. Each step is just as important as the next and you need to celebrate yourself every step of the way. Once you make the decision about how you want to feel and healing something in your life, whether that’s physically or emotionally, the other thing that could possibly get in your way is you. It’s time to give ourselves more credit, and more importantly, more LOVE.

You are not alone. You’ve never been alone, and you’ll never be alone. Take it from someone who felt that there was a point when she had no one who could possible understand her pain and desperation, we have a whole unseen team in the angelic realm who can guide you and are only waiting on you to ask for their assistance. No task or questions is too big or too small for them. (NOTE: Communication in this manner is non-denominational but always proceed at your own comfort level) You will receive divine inspiration on what to do, where to go, who to talk to, resources popping up out of nowhere as if they were sent by a miracle. You only need to be open to receiving.

You are divine. You are magic. You’re here for a reason and you have a purpose. We need you. I love you and I’m here for you.

Before we get into the meat and potatoes of this post, for those that don’t yet know what Soulcation is, it’s a beautiful wellness retreat in Tulum, Mexico created and led by Laina Caltagirone, my friend and spiritual life coach and manifestation teacher. I’ll link her info at the bottom of this post so you get learn more about her, her work, and this incredible experience.

Let me just start out by saying that I still can’t believe I pulled it all together and made this happen for myself! I can confidently say I did manifest this, although it could have been done in a more graceful and easy way, but more on that later. I honestly wasn’t sure I could get together the finances I needed, and stubbornly refused sharing a room. But alas, I refused to take no for an answer, stopped letting a lack mentality around money hinder me once again, frantically prayed for guidance and assistance to make it happen, and the universe provided for me as it always does.

Laina gave me a warning, which was that Tulum gives you exactly what you need. My mindset and intention for this retreat was to in fact find retreat from my recent monkey mind, prove to myself that I absolutely can manifest, create, and have whatever I wanted, and to restructure my businesses. Possibly even get inspired with some new ideas. I got all of that…and then some.

I want to first delve into the most important lesson I was faced with. And I’ll preface this by sharing that since an early age, I never really felt like I fit in. I never felt accepted, I was bullied, and was never included into cliques and groups. I had previously been to one other fitness retreat where exactly what I feared, did in fact manifest for myself. But I knew this was going to be different. I’ve since grown, continue to take responsibility for my inner environment knowing it creates my external experience, and knew the type of like-minded women this experience attracted. I was definitely still nervous, because ya know, I’m human, but as my mom always reminds me, “one step at a time.” Full of wise gems, that one.

The first night was beautiful and filled with so much excitement. Everyone was excited to connect with one another and the week ahead. Tulum is beautiful wellness hub. It’s a mix of jungle and beach and extremely eco-friendly/conscious. It’s almost like the Sedona of Mexico. Very spiritual and sensual as well. A place that truly connects you to nature, mother earth, and the divine feminine. The way the rooms are set up are like luxury tents with AC, big comfy beds, but outdoor bathrooms to shower under the stars which made you feel a part of the environment, but high-vibe, safe and comfortable. All our breakfasts and dinners were family-style, and we broke the ice going around the table answering soulful questions and sharing intentions. Every morning started with yoga led by another beautiful goddess of a soul and human, Miki Ash, followed by our soul chat led by Laina, breaking down the steps to powerful purposeful manifestation. I will admit I only made it to yoga 2x cause your girl here is not a morning person! Def something I’m still actively working on 😉

Both Miki and Laina took the time to connect on a deeper level with each and every person that was there individually which I can attest can sometimes make all the difference in one’s experience. Thank you to both of you angels <3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I knew this was a special place and I was surrounded with special women.

The second day started on the same token, but as the day progressed, I noticed some old patterns start to spark up. I was noticing that as hard as I was trying to get to know people, the only questions I was starting to be asked were about my business and life as a healer. Not much about who I, Emily, am as a person. I began feeling as though the cliques were forming. My previous excitement turned to fear and I began feeling secluded and excluded. I would sit down with a couple girls to join the conversation and I would either be ignored or they would get up to do something else.

I had to own the fact that I was creating my life experience, therefore creating these scenarios and situations for myself. These were stories I was telling myself and these were the same patterns I would play out in similar experiences with new groups of people, especially women for as long as I could remember. And my go-to had been, “well fuck it, maybe I really don’t belong here and I’ll just go off on my own until this thing is over. I shouldn’t have said or done that because now no one’s gonna like me. They’re judging me. I knew this would happen.” But this wasn’t supposed to happen. Not here, not anymore. I knew I needed to stop caring so much about what other people thought and focus more on how I want to feel and what I truly want to experience! And these feelings popped up all throughout the week, but instead of staying in that vibe and doing what I normally do, I shook things up and got the hell outta my comfort zone!

Using some of the tools I often teach my clients and in my own work, I immediately asked myself, “what is this mirroring within me?” Why do I feel this way? Which led me to the most important questions I had only ever previously touched upon: Do I FULLY love and accept myself and Do I value myself? You can take a guess at the answer my heart and soul quickly spewed back at me. I wasn’t and didn’t. How the hell is anyone else supposed to love, accept, and see me when I don’t fully hold that space for myself? We can’t fully love another unless we fully love ourselves. Those half-assed feelings lead to half-assed relationships. And who has time for that?!

I faced myself and did the work I needed to do to move through those feelings and limiting beliefs (and there was quite some work to be done), cried it out when needed, and got right back up to join the mix. I realized that most of how I was feeling were also just assumptions I was making, and they were assumptions I would jump to way too quickly because of past experiences and conditioning. It was not truth.

I was uncomfortable. These were new terrains I was crossing and new ways of being that I was all too ready for, but all the pain, attachment, and negativity I was holding onto and recreating needed to be felt one last time before saying goodbye for good. I also felt safe to share how I was feeling with the other girls who not only held space for me, but shared their own experiences and stories. I didn’t feel so alone anymore. I knew I wasn’t alone. We never are. I would normally bury these feelings in this regard for fear of feeling like a burden or a stick in the mud, but THIS was my opportunity to explore, to share, to heal, and release. It helped me to better hold space and love for these other people however way it was meant to come through me! And I’ll be honest, at the end, I did not click with everyone. AND THAT’S OK. Because all our relationships and connections are based on vibrations. We’re never going to vibe and connect with everyone, but we always will with who we’re meant to. And it’s beautiful. Not everyone is going to see you or accept you. But it is still your job to be kind and send love (if you feel called.) Which I did. For each and every one of the amazing goddesses I was surrounded by. We all crave love, acceptance, and kindness. It’s ok not to include everyone, but it is important not to purposefully cause someone else to feel excluded.

We’re all on our journeys and it’s going to look different for everyone. And we’re all here doing the best we can. Our paths all crossed for a reason and I am beyond grateful because it all serves a purpose. And I did come back to LA with some incredible new girlfriends, stronger relationships with the friends I already had, and a more wholesome, confident, and aware sense of self.

I was learning more about who I was, shining light on old ways of being I was unintentionally and unconsciously recreating, and stepping into a new way of being and embodying my truth. Lifting burdens off my shoulders that weren’t mine to carry anymore. I felt liberated, accepted, loved, supported, and more myself than I had previously experienced! I was also learning more about my body as I was healing some old stagnation with my physical health, which of course ties into to all the emotional components, because that’s just what happens with this work. And I’m still learning because it’s baby steps. That’s what this life experience is all about. We’re here to learn and embody all of who we are and all we came here to be! Honestly, if we’re not learning anymore, it means our time is up for this incarnation.

Tulum gave me more than I ever thought I needed, and even brought up what I thought was already healed. But it was also dependent on who I was sharing the experience with. It always works out like that. We will get various experiences based on who we’re with, where we are, and where we’re at on our path/journey. Stuff will come up regardless, but it’s also dependent on how open or how closed off you are. How aware, awake, and conscious you are at the time. We always get what we need when we’re ready for. And even if we feel like we may not be. The universe, our angels, and our soul knows.

Soulcation gave me the opportunity I needed to heal on so many levels and experience new enriching connections and relationships I had been craving. It was the gift that honestly keeps on giving as it’s been 2 days since I’ve been back and I’m continuing to heal and move through old conditioning, but it’s such a blessing.

I feel open, ready, and inspired to continue creating and designing the life that I was destined to live and that I KNOW is my divine birthright! My excitement has returned and grown 10-fold around being of service, aligning with those who need me, those who I need to share my heart and gifts with, and live a life full of zest, love, and purpose! I feel like I walked away from this experience knowing I did the best I could, shared all of me, and acted from a place of loving intention in order to make whatever impact I was meant to make. My head is held high and my heart is cracked wide open!

To learn more about Soulcation, or Laina and her work: http://lainacaltagirone.com/

To learn more about Miki: http://mikiash.com/