Before we get into it, I want you to take a minute and close your eyes. Take some deep breaths, center yourself, and bring your awareness inward and to your heart space. Now I want you to do a brief scan and self-reflection from your childhood up until this very moment. Were there any points or moments in your life, maybe in school, in your relationships, at work, where you felt like a side-piece or “background character” of sorts? Was there ever a moment in time where you’ve mentally asked yourself, “why not me” or “what about me”?
If the answer is yes, congrats! You’re like every other human being out there that’s ever existed. And I want to tell you that those pivotal moments were opportunities to check in with yourself and see that they were both calls for love and empowerment.
Each of us came here to be the fullest expression of our unique soul in a human experience. And those experiences will always be either one of love or a call for love. You came here with your own gifts, abilities, path, and impact, so it stands to reason that we’re supposed to be that shining star of that experience, ya?
I always felt like an outsider. I started kindergarten a few weeks later than my peers because of major eye surgery at 5 years old. From elementary school and all the way through high school, I felt like the background character and sidekick to my closest girlfriends I deemed prettier than me and got attention from guys while I got passed over without a glance. At home being the youngest of 3, I got plenty of attention, but everywhere else it always felt like someone else’s show. And of course when we’re at an early age, not to mention no one really spoke freely of personal development practices and empowerment until recently, we just think this is the way it is and develop a warped, wounded sense of worth, am I right?
But now we know different, most of us hopefully. And this is one of the purposes of inner child healing, because if those past wounds, traumas, and experiences have been left unattended, they will continue to fester in our subconscious and recreate themselves in our present. For me this pattern has continued to show up in my social life and business in the wellness industry. That wound of “feeling left out” has continued to rear its ugly head. The best way to describe it would be this feeling an pattern of being slighted, which I know energetically is still lingering. I would take it extremely personal when friends would get together and wouldn’t invite me. It often felt like there would be people who wanted to friends with my friends over me. And forget it when someone wouldn’t hire me or choose me to work with. It’s a deep hurt when it feels like we’re invisible, which I’ve struggled with for almost my entire existence.
But as I said, these moments are opportunities, and the feelings they evoke are messages from our emotional intelligence, letting us know where we’re out of alignment. With what, you ask? Ourselves and our power. The truth is, the spotlight has always been intended to be yours in your life, and if it hasn’t felt like that, it’s time to rewrite your script. The purpose of empowerment work is to put you back in the driver’s seat of your own life experience and realign you with who you came here to be and what you came here to do. You’re a magnificent being with big ideas, dreams, and desires that you came here to manifest and create into tangible reality. That is your legacy! The way things are and the way things used to be are not the way things HAVE to be!! Those experiences hold the lessons you need to learn right now in order to alter the course of your reality. It’s not ego. Your soul and your highest self did not come here to sit on the sidelines and waste time. He/she came here determined with a mission, not to mention your guides have work to do through you!
I want to offer you a couple reflection questions and an exercise for you to do with the full moon in Aries this weekend, which is all about the Self, and boldness of Self at that. This will be incredibly healing holistically and to that beautiful inner child where you will also begin reprogramming the subconscious in order to manifest a new reality.
Make a list of alllll those times you felt like you were off to the side, and one by one go through and objectively look at each experience, and intuitively ask that version of yourself at that age how that experience felt and what they needed. Some instances may call for forgiveness of yourself and/or others while some may just need to be acknowledged and felt instead of having those feelings suppressed. Maybe we were shamed in some way as being too sensitive (I was) or for being vulnerable. Being vulnerable and your ability to feel is a testament of true inner strength, and anyone who taught us otherwise did so out of their own fear. Take a breath.
And now taking stock of the present and acknowledging where these similar patterns may be showing up, what can you do differently? How can you start showing up differently, knowing and trusting that you deserve to be seen and heard, that you came here to take up space? When we heal in the now, we heal for our past as well as for future generations. What would happen if you stopped walking into a room hunched over like Ross Geller and started walking like The Rock? If we’ve been programmed to be or act a certain way for a long time, change won’t happen overnight. Baby steps. How can you start showing up and acting like your fullest expression of Self? Meditate on that. Free-write. Your soul and highest self have those answers, but you need to take the time to get quiet and listen. They’re waiting to talk to you!