I think the most common question that comes up throughout our lives is, what is my purpose? Like we’re part of some kind of secret intelligence looking for our next mission, when in reality, the mission is always going to be internal and it’s our external experience and environment that holds the clues.

Our life purpose can be summed up into one thing: Self-Exploration.

Technically, our soul does come here with a mission or some sort of fluid blueprint, which I won’t go into in this post, but you can read a bit more about that share here on IG. But we come here to “earth school” as I like to call it as part of an evolutionary path, and we face lessons, challenges, and obstacles as a type of teaching mechanism in order to move onto to the lext, higher levels, sort of like a video game. And I want to touch upon one specific example of a challenge many of us face in order to put us face to face with the deepest like of self-exploration: chronic illness and disease.

If we are newer to connect (hi, hello welcome!), for the last 17 years, I have suffered with a bladder condition, which I’ve already gone into extensively in previous blog posts which you can read more about, but it’s what led me down this rabbit hole of Soul and all things self + wellness. It’s also the last piece left I have yet to heal. However, it’s had a powerful ROI and continues to teach me and lead to massive breakthroughs almost daily as I chip away at it! And I want to share the latest breakthrough with you in the hopes that it may inspire or bring comfort to any of you who may also be struggling with your bodies or in your own process of healing.

When this condition, initially diagnosed (then misdiagnosed) as something called Interstitial Cystitis first reared its ugly head, I didn’t know anything but the western medicine route. And I want to quickly preface this and say that there is a place for both western medicine AND holistic/energy healing! I saw some of the best doctors in the country, urologists, pelvic floor health specialists, and feminine health + reproductive specialists. At one point I think I was on 5+ medications at one time, I was receiving pelvic floor physical therapy, and basically every other treatment that existed that wasn’t surgery or botox shots into my bladder, because yes that’s a thing. When absolutely nothing worked, I was led to the holistics and energetics where at first, again I just continued getting worse. My body has been screaming at me for a long time trying to get my attention. It was begging me to listen to it while I continued seeking out answers outside of myself because quite frankly, I didn’t know anything else. But it got to the point I got off ALL meds and strictly pursued the latter. But throughout the years, I’ve had multiple intuitives tell me that I would be going back to a traditional doctor.

I became angry and frustrated, and my thought process became, why the f*ck would that happen if I have the power to heal myself like I’ve been learning?! I had thoughts of believing I would be a failure if that happened and that nothing was every going to change. I was making the situation black and white when I just wasn’t ready, I couldn’t see the shades of gray…until last week.

I was just back in NJ where I’m from visiting my friends + family and my bladder was BAD. There was one night in particular, I was in the bathroom the ENTIRE NIGHT because my bladder felt like a faucet that wouldn’t turn off. Finally my mom made me an appointment to see a local energy healer she sees sporadically, after mind you I surrendered it all and prayed that specific morning to be led to the person who was able to help me with this issue. She was incredible and helped me move and clear a LOT of energy and old stuff, but one of the first things she said channeled was that I needed to go back and see a doctor. And while this initially triggered me, I’ve just been so tired at this point that I threw my hands up and said ok, worth a shot. So thankfully enough, my mom who has something a little similar to my condition and on a new medication that’s been helping her tremendously, got me into see her doctor who prescribed me the same.

And my breakthrough came in the waiting room. Reflecting on this whole journey, the light bulb went off: It was never supposed to work back then. The doctors, the medication, the completely turning outside of myself for answers. I’m feeling energy move and my heart expanding as I type this, but it’s like the universe and maybe even my higher self forced my hand to lead me on this path that has led to me straight into the path of self-exploration. And that will happen any time there’s a lesson we’re not “getting” or making moves on what most needs our attention. A greater power WILL step to lead you down a higher, more purposeful path in order to lead to or speed up your awakening. We get sick in order to slow down or turn our attention inwards, we get fired when we’re in a job we’re miserable in and not doing anything about it, we break up or get divorced when a relationship has run its course. We’re brought out of alignment to get back INTO alignment.

I’ve known that I brought this challenge into this lifetime in order to heal it and it finally feels ready. And so now, equipped with more knowledge and a deeper, more expansive sense of self, I can take on western medicine again while now bringing in my own holistic, emotional healing, and energy practices to work in-tandem and come into balance. Funny this is all happening during libra season, right? And so I want to remind you that there is a purpose for every experience, even during the times it feels we’re stuck, we’re not moving, and nothing’s happening. There is a purpose and more importantly an opportunity in our struggle. First of all it’s a call for love, but also an invitation to return back to yourself. A chance to come back to soul and self and seek out answers form within, which my love, you came here with! We are never faced with anything we cannot handle or overcome. We came here as intuitive beings and that sacred channel is always available to you, more than that cell phone you may be reading this on. And the more you use and engage with that channel, the stronger it will get and the clearer it will be.

And it’s also safe to ask for help and receive the support you need! Intuitive healers and mentors like me, doctors, teachers, all exist for a reason. I don’t know who needs to hear this but I often remind myself that you do not need to do this or “handle” anything alone!! I don’t know one person in this entire universe who has ever gotten ahead by themselves. Healers need healers, coaches need coaches, business owners need mentors, people need people. We’ve all been helped and taught along the way, but the first person you need to turn to is yourself. No one knows you like you know you, even if you’re unconscious of that fact at the moment. Our prayers are always being answered, but if we’re praying to feel more powerful, more patient, loving, etc, those prayers may be answered with opportunities to call on those qualities within yourself.

I am consistently learning more and more about myself and the world through my experiences, challenges, my body, and my practices with myself and my clients, and that’s what this entire life experience is all about: self-exploration, because when you’re in service to the “Me”, you’re in service to the “We.”

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