Victimhood. It shows up in so many different ways throughout our lives, and what most people don’t realize is that this not only affects us on a personal level, but inter-personally and globally as well.
I personally have spent most of my life in a state of victimhood, which I go deeper into in my earlier blog posts. It created disease, illness, and imbalanced conditions in my body, disconnect and toxicity in my friendships and relationships, and kept me in a state of lack. See I used to believe as a child that by presenting myself as victim and creating this persona for myself, that would get me support, sympathy, and attention when I felt without. I believed – not just thought – that was the ultimate way to receive love. And I made excuses for people, about how they treated me when it was poor and disrespectful. I also thought it was I who was the problem and did something wrong. Which leads me to what I really want to dive into…
“Hurt people hurt others.”
While true, this is also an excuse we use to validate someone else’ poor and usually hurtful behavior. I know because I’ve been there, multiple times. And it’s not to say the actual person is bad, because they’re most certainly not! But it’s a way of letting someone else get away with hurting us or another just because they’re most likely unconscious of a wound they need to tend to within. How is anything going to change if we don’t do anything about it? We teach people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves. This is just another reason why I stress self-love. Because self-love is empowerment, and part of that is speaking up and speaking our truth, even when our voice shakes. And by not speaking up to others, especially when it comes to our needs and standing our ground, we are actually doing a disservice to others and prohibiting their growth. Maybe, just maybe, we were placed with that person to help them learn a lesson in compassion and forgiveness. And even if we speak up and call someone out on their behavior and it doesn’t look like it’s going to make a difference, it does! Because you not only exercised your personal power, you have also planted a seed within them since most likely you are or either will not be the first person to do that for them. You are inspiring change within them on some level, even if it may take a little time to shift and acknowledge it. It’s also not up to us to force someone to change, or simply to take responsibility for their own lives. We just need to hold space and hold up the mirror.
If you were the one who unintentionally hurt another, empowerment can also look like you taking ownership and responsibility for the part you played.
I also want to briefly touch upon the effect this all has on a global level. Now I’m not normally one to discuss politics, but this is too important. Everything that we’re seeing with the #metoo movement, women’s and trans-rights, it’s all coming up to show us where we need to step back into our own personal power. When we’re still coming from old conditions and mindsets of victimhood, have you noticed that the term being used is “fighting back”? Because that’s just what’s happening, and this energy of fight is only going to be exactly that. But if we take the time, and this is what the purpose is, to go inwards and look to why we’re being triggered, do the work, and become empowered, THAT is when we’ve won. That is when people come together and create not only change, but lasting change. This strife that’s around us is showing up in our fields and attention to provoke us to do the inner work. The universe is on our side and what is happening is for not, not happening to us. And when we can honestly and truthfully see it like that, that is the moment when you know you’ve taken your power back. Sometimes empowerment just looks like tending to your own wounds and triggers. To me that takes immense strength that’s often overlooked.
Becoming empowered will change, shift, and transform your life on every single level. Too often when something doesn’t go our way, our immediate reaction is to put blame on someone or something else. But the truth is, when you become aware that you are a divine co-creator with Source and the universe, and that everything you are experiencing in your outer reality is only a byproduct of your thoughts and emotions, you are able to take responsibility (i.e. take your power back) and start creating the life that you actually want, and that’s on your side. I mean the truth is it’s always on your side. Even the strife and hardships. We’re all here to heal, learn, and grow. The inner work is and will never be done. You’ll only grow to new stages that are preparing you for that next level, and ultimately next lifetime or chapter after we pass on.
And empowerment vs. victim mentality is no different when it comes to our health and bodies. We have created everything we’re experiencing in our bodies and it’s time to take responsibility for that too. So if you’re dealing with something chronic like migraines, gut health issues, pain, inflammation, honestly it doesn’t matter how serious it is – stop and go inwards. What version of you created this? What were they thinking at the time? What were they feeling? And what was the lesson they needed to learn? It’s only old programming that just needs to be worked through. You have the power to heal it all. We are an extension of the divine – of pure source love – so wouldn’t it make sense that the energy that created us not only unconditionally loves us, but wants us to be happy, healthy, and free? This might take a minute to sort through, but the impact this has…where there’s a will, there’s a way 😉