A dear friend said something to me the other day that was so simple, yet so profound and has stayed with me. “Disease is the absence of perfection.” I’m sure if you were to sit and think about the topic of health right now, you can think of at least 1 person in your life, aside from yourself if it pertains to you, that if suffering from a chronic illness or disease that they were told was “incurable.”

I was one of those people. By now I hope most of you have rest my earlier post sharing my story about what led me to where I am now. A lot of it pertained to my physical health, which is of course connected to my energetic and emotional health. Well, I left something out. For many years, I struggled with a nerve disorder called vulvar vestibulitis, sometimes more commonly known as vulvodynia. Basically, an inflammatory disorder of the nerves at the opening of the vagina. How they diagnose it “officially” is with a Q-Tip test. They LIGHTLY touch the 4 nerves with a Q-Tip and if you suffer from this condition, you want to scream and jump off the table in pain. Most doctors have no explanation for this phenomenon, and while there is treatment, there’s no cure. At least no traditional cure.

When I was little, and I mean around the age of 5 or 6, I would wake up in the middle of the night with stabbing pains, down there. I didn’t know how to describe it, so I called it “the pushing problem.” It would cause me constant tears and so much pain for my parents watching me suffer and trying to figure out all they could to try to understand what was happening and help me. I honestly don’t remember seeing any traditional doctors for it at the time, but I do remember trying homeopathy which caused some relief. After a while, it seemed to just go away on its own

The next time I noticed the issue was in my early teens attempting to use a tampon. I couldn’t. Fast forward to my college years to when I became sexually active, and really realized there was a serious problem.

Most people who suffer from vulvodynia are in a constant burning pain and have to avoid wearing leggins and doing certain activities. For me, i was only triggered when the nerves were touched in some way. I can’t begin to tell you the excruciating pain sex caused me. For a while I tried to suffer through it because of embarrassment and wanting to please my partner, but inside I would be screaming and crying, and wishing it to be over. I went about 5 years staying abstinent. Many people who suffer with this condition also suffer from the bladder disorder I was struggling with at the time. Usually it’s the entire pelvic floor that’s weak. Point blank, you don’t feel like a normal, healthy, thriving woman, and honestly just hopeless. I tried all the treatments, including pelvic floor physical therapy, dialators to “stretch” the area, nerve blockers, anti-inflammatories, and botox shots INTO the actual nerves. That was definitely one of the worst experiences of my life! I wouldn’t wish that upon my worst enemy! The only thing I didn’t do was surgery, which most of the time is unsuccessful.

But just like my bladder issue, I refused to let anything stop me. I had to take things into my own hands. I wanted a healthy sex life like any other healthy woman and a long-lasting, thriving relationship with a husband one day. No woman should ever have to put numbing cream on her vagina before getting intimate. Lemme tell ya, def a mood killer! NOTHING was going to stop me!! And as I developed my spiritual practice and learned more and more about energy work and healing, I finally found answers here too.

When we’re told something is incurable, it’s simply because the answers- the root cause of something- not only haven’t been found yet, but because that person hasn’t asked enough questions, hasn’t looked deep enough, and hasn’t turned to non-traditional options. I mean just look at our physical bodies. We have this amazing system with amazing structures, with billions of nerves and cells that communicate with each other, our organs, tissues, etc. We have a natural circadian rhythm, brilliant communication keeping us breathing and our heart beating. It should stand to reason that our bodies have the knowledge and wherewithal to be able to heal itself naturally in every single regard. Just look at our skin when we cut ourselves. But sometimes wires can get crossed and that communication can go a little wonky. Don’t worry, that’s the proper medical definition 😉 As I often like to remind people, we are an eternal soul- made of energy- having a human experience. We are a multidimensional soul with multidimensional bodies. Within our physical bodies, the two most prominent are the emotional body and the etheric/energetic body (the same body that creates dysfunctional cords that we need to cut during energy work). These are the eternal bodies that incarnate with us. Energy can only change and transmute, never die. These bodies, connected to our soul and along with our soul are the ones that hold onto past memories, abuse, trauma, and pain. It’s why sometimes some people are born with certain disorders, some souls have it in their blueprint to experience various health abnormalities at a certain point in their lives, and sometimes during instances of trauma and shock during the physical incarnation like abuse or a car accident, certain areas of our bodies already holding onto past energetic blocks or stagnation can get triggered. And here is when it can get a little more gray. Often times, we choose our experiences if it’s for our ultimate soul growth or for that of another. This is why healing is never black and white! One protocol that works on one person may not work on another, except for energy work if it is for something we’re meant to heal. There is always a lesson to be had.

The only reason energy work will not be effective if their experience is related to how that soul has chosen to pass from this lifetime.

But back to my story. Through countless energy work sessions, intuitive readings, and past life regressions, I learned that I’ve experienced many, many lifetimes of sexual assault and rape – those I suffered from and those where I caused harm to others, therefore balancing karma, and feelings of disconnect within my soul from having a physical body and being a woman. This was not going to be an overnight process, but I was going to continue to peel back the layers and heal. I also learned that I chose what I was going to experience with my health here as Emily Pogany in order to heal them and ultimately be of service as a healer and teacher through energy work. All of my pain, suffering, discomfort, and hardship was to ultimately lead to, uncover, and reconnect me back to my life purpose and soul’s mission. It often takes finding our light by traversing through the dark.

Most of my work in this area was through forgiveness. Forgiving those who hurt me in the past, as well as asking for their forgiveness. I’ve had to do and continue to do chakra work and healing to keep those areas balanced. But the biggest piece which I have now finally and successfully healed, balanced, and made peace with under this Cancer new moon eclipse energy, is the connection to my femininity, womanhood, and sexual energy. I now honor myself as a woman and a sexual being. I chose to feel safe being a woman, and all that entails. I stopped blocking my sexual nature and energy and decided to see it and honor it for what it TRULY is – creative, LIFE FORCE energy. Although I obviously chose this lifetime and incarnation, there were aspects of my internal bodies (we have about 11) and soul that weren’t comfortable here. They didn’t feel safe here. If we’re really getting deep and woo-woo, being a human here on earth felt very traumatic to me. In my previous blog post, I talked about how I never really felt like I belonged here and all that encompassed. This most certainly was a part of it. But it took me truly going within, asking the proper questions, and being open to receiving the guidance I needed to re-balance myself on all levels and ultimately heal. And I did.

Don’t you see?! We are all healers in our own right and we all possess the tools within to heal, mind, body, and soul. A symptom is only just a message. At its core, our souls are whole, divine, and perfect. We are never broken. It knows what to do to do heal, and it takes moving out of our own way, our humanness, to let it do its thing. Our bodies also here what we think and say, so talk to it and kindly. Give your body permission to be led by your soul and higher-self in order to heal. Sometimes giving it that permission will unlock whatever resistance it’s been holding onto. Remind yourself that you are safe, and you are safe to heal. And only you have the power to make that decision for yourself, and OWN it.

If you’re someone with a chronic condition, choosing to simply “manage” it, it’s always brave when you choose to share your story. However, and forgive me, but how is it brave when you’re ignoring the messages your body is so desperately trying to convey to you?! We have the ability and capability to completely heal and transform our bodies. True healing is never finished until we get to the root of the symptom and understand the message.

Teaching a person to manage a chronic illness, disease, or condition is basically telling them to ignore the innate wisdom of their body and soul. How is it “light and love” if you’re withholding that truth? By withholding truth, you are essentially preventing another’s healing, fulfillment, and ultimate becoming. Stop tip-toeing around healing and wake up to the truth! Keep digging until you get the answer. It’s there. And we’re all gifted with intuition and the ability to communicate deep within through meditation and getting quiet. But sometimes when we’re “in it,” it takes reaching out to an energy healer for support in uncovering the foggy layers. I often say healing is like peeling back layers of an onion, or taking off layer by layer of clothing in the winter. Like Joey from Friends wearing all of Chandler’s clothes in The One Where No One’s Ready. And once something is cleared through energy work, that’s it. It’s gone. You no longer have to carry that with you for your next incarnation. If you clear something that was being carried within your lineage, you no longer pass it down through the next generation and the next one.

See what I’m sayin’ here? YOU, my love, are the cure. you just need to open up and allow yourself the connection and do the work.

Summer is normally a time we consider to be “lighthearted and free,” enjoying time in the sun with our friends and family, without a care in the world! And while that should still be the case, if you’re reading this blog right now, you’ve already noticed something within you may be awry. You might have been feeling tired or lethargic, sleeping later than normal (or at least wanting to), frustrated, sensitive around others, flying off the handles a little more than usual or that you’d like to care to admit, or basically all-around emotional.

We can thank the cosmos for this! Beginning this summer, we can expect, and already have, a bevy of activity from the summer equinox, cancer AND eclipse season, and 6 – you read that right- planets in retrograde!! But not to worry, because I’m going to break down exactly what’s going on and how to best navigate the energies and take care of yourself so that when all is said and done, you feel nourished, healed, and ready for your ultimate rebirth! So let’s get into it!

Let’s start with cancer season. The crab makes her journey from June 21-July 22nd. She’s a feminine energy and finds her home with the element of water. We often find ourselves the most sensitive and emotional at the drop of a hat during this time and Pisces season. This is a time for us to better learn and understand our emotional depth and feelings instead of burying and pushing them aside or judging them. We’re all here because we’ve chosen to be human during this incarnation and experience the full range of human emotion. Not to mention, we are comprised of equal parts divine feminine and divine masculine. This is a time to better understand and balance the feminine, our nurturing and receptive nature. We get to soften up here and get to know ourselves on a deeper, more intimate level. And this goes for both men and women!! You’ll find with the cancers in your life, they may present themselves with a tough shell and outer exterior, but once they let you in, or you push your way in, they are some of the most sensitive, loving souls whose vulnerability needs to be honored and kept safe.

One of the best ways to connect with this energy is through the element of water. That could be immersing yourself into any body of water such as the ocean, or a lake. But most of you already know my FAVORITE self-care ritual during this time, and pretty much all the time, which is a sea-salt bath! And we’re really talking soaking, not a full on bath like when we were kids. I often recommend loading up your bath with some epsom, himalayan, or sea-salt, your favorite essential oils, and an extra addition which would be extremely healing and powerful at this time, fresh flowers! Light some candles, grab your favorite crystals (2 of the best for this period are selenite and rose quartz), and soak for a minimum of 20 minutes. I suggest using my suuuper yummy, high-vibe zodiac bath salts which are energy charged for your personally! You can pick some up HERE! They also contain a keepsake crystal for you to use specifically with your bath ritual or any time the need calls! Use this time to connect with your intuition, visualize your bath water as the purest, most beautiful white/golden/pink light, healing your body and fields from the inside out. I often like to call upon ascended master Kuan Yin to help me be more gentle and compassionate with myself and others. Be open to receiving any healing or messages you need most and just honor yourself exactly as you are and where you are. When you’re done, you can do a cold water rinse in the shower, and follow up with any other yummy self-care like a DYI facial or a self-massage with warm oil or lotion. Your body is your sacred vessel! Treat it as such.

I also recommend having a good cry when needed! Our bodies are primarily made up of water, and one of the best ways to release old, limiting, stale energies is through our tears. Think of how much lighter you feel after a good cry! And let’s be real here, stop feeling so vulnerable and ugly-cry when necessary! Go somewhere you can be alone to go crazy and let it out!! And before we wrap this section up, now is a great time to get some good workouts in and sweat out what doesn’t serve you. You can also do this by visiting a sauna. Just make sure you’re sweating and the energy is moving through you! And last but not least, make sure to hydrate with some good, ol’ fashioned WATER!!

Now let’s get into the retrogrades. Let me just start this off by saying the key to navigating energy of any kind is through meditation. It’s the best way to remain calm, return back to your center with ease and grace, and understand more of whatever is going on for your soul’s journey and how best to heal. If you’re new to meditation or want to learn where to start, you can check out my Back to Basics Guidebook HERE. I’m just going to touch upon each of the retrogrades and the best self-care and tools to get through them with flying colors! This will also ring especially true for the eclipse portals in order to fully release what doesn’t serve you and allow those doors to close with ease and grace, while simultaneously allowing for new beginnings and divine downloads on how to progress, heal, and move forward.

First we have Jupiter, the planet of luck and expansion, who has been retrograde since March 8th and will be finishing up its backwards cycle on July 10th. Jupiter has been purifying our lives, through our physical bodies, as well as having us look at our thought processes and the values we hold most dear. Have they ultimately served us or have you been noticing where fear has been limiting you and making you think small? This has been a big time of physical cleansing and purging, making it an excellent time for a cleanse or detox program. Please just make sure you are honoring your body and following a protocol that most resonates with what you need most – NOT what’s “trendy.” Many people have found themselves coming down with the flu, colds, and tummy troubles which can often symbolize release. It’s important to remember not to berate yourself if that happens and trust the wisdom of your body. Again, make sure you’re also getting some physical movement in and getting some sweat going.

Next we have Saturn who turned retrograde back in April and will be finishing his turn on September 6th. This guy is like the father figure from up above. He’s loving, but tough, disciplined, and wants us to get our hands dirty. He likes teaching us lessons. He’s also known as the Lord of Karma. A lot of our unbalanced karma is now coming up to the light to be amended and sorted through, whether that’s from a past life or present. Old flames and friends may be rearing their heads due to unfinished soul contracts, or you may find yourself repeating a pattern that doesn’t serve you somewhere in your life and relationships. You might just need to acknowledge a pattern and ask how to do things differently. It might be through forgiveness. Karma has had this stigma attached to it, but it is neither good nor bad. It’s a universal law of balance, of cause and effect. For every action, there is a reaction. During this period, we are being asked to look at the commitments we’ve made and see if they still serve us and which ones we’d still like to keep.

Pluto also began its retrograde cycle back in April and will finish up on September 30th. Here the focus is on our subconscious – old limiting beliefs and toxic people we’re still holding onto that don’t serve us. It will be peeling back layers, asking what is ultimately true for you? It’s a time to grow and expand your consciousness and connect even deeper to your spiritual growth and practice. Remember that most of the time, it’s the subcon that’s running the show, so if there have been things that you’ve been working on manifesting to no avail, look at the beliefs you’ve been carrying there. You have the choice and the power to change and rewrite your beliefs at any time.

Next comes a long retrograde we got going with Neptune, who started its cycle in June and will continue until November 24th. Neptune will unveil any negative emotional energy such as fear or lack of self-love and acceptance, and unlock them in a way that you’re able to release them peacefully. Not only is the focus here on emotional energy, but on creativity as well. It’s the perfect time to do some sacral chakra work as these energies go hand in hand. You’ll really be able to get in touch with that sacred, feminine fire within, assisting you in releasing any self-sabotaging patterns or tendencies. Connect to this energy center, which vibrates to the color orange, through meditation, yoga, creative pursuits such as dance or art, and through, I know you’re gonna love this one, some passionate sexual activity!

We have mars which stationed retro at the end of last month, and who goes direct August 27th. Mars, the warrior, who is normally about fire, determination, and action, has us looking at where we’ve been slacking. Has there been a pursuit or goal of yours where deep down you know you haven’t really been putting in the time or effort? That’s definitely be true for me! While the energy right now has been slower, this is not the time to just lay back and relax until things move forward again! Every step forward, no matter how small, count at every point in time! Regardless of what’s happening, each day ask yourself “what can I do today that will take me closer to my dreams?” This period will help you reawaken your motivation, so I recommend revisiting your “why.”

We then have a biggie with chiron, who’s actually not a planet but a comet. Known as the “Wounded Healer,” This retrograde period will last the longest, staying with us until the end of 2018 in order to make sure we have completely healed our bodies and souls in preparation for the new year. This healing will take us out of victimhood and into empowerment!

While you don’t have to be well-versed in astrology, I highly recommend jumping on a site like astrotwins.com to check out your own natal chart to see where chiron falls. That placement represents our deepest wounds and shows us how to heal them. Make sure to look at the specific house your placement of chiron is in and what that house represents. I’ll give you an example, my chiron falls in my 3rd house in gemini, showing me that my deepest wounds have always been reflected in my self-worth and acceptance. I’ve done immense healing already in that area, but now because I have this knowledge, I continue to be empowered by knowing where some of my trigger may still lie. Our souls come into these incarnations with various lessons to be learned for its ultimate growth. And what you have to remember is that by learning these lessons and healing, we are impacting those around us through THEIR lessons and ultimate healing!

And last but not least, we have mercury going retrograde on July 26th in Leo. We all know the basics – it’s a time to re-evaluate, reconnect, revisit, and recharge. Frankly, I’m sick and tired of all the doom and gloom being put out there. Just be smart and aware here. Avoid signing any contracts or purchasing large electronics or equipment, try to avoid updating your phone’s software or getting your car serviced UNLESS you need to fix (AMEND) something which has been long overdue, and communicate efficiently and thoroughly. This is not a time to be feared. I talk more about how to properly navigate the energy of this period in my Back to Basics and Goddess on the Go travel guide which delves more into traveling during MR, but again – be gentle and PATIENT with yourself and others during this time.

We have built up such a stereotype around retrogrades, but it’s just a matter of taking the time to understand what each one represents in order to fully harness the goodness and the healing that can come out of it! Nature is always a great metaphor for life. There are times of hibernation, slowing down, and preparation, and there are time of harvest, blossoming, and blooming. None more important than the other, but all working in conjunction with one another. We need those times of stillness in order to hear the whispers of guidance on how to properly and effectively thrive and move forward. Go into these times with enthusiasm and an open mind, and take the time to pause and reconnect back to yourself through any blips or seeming chaos that life may throw at you. It is all happening FOR you, not TO you, and it’s all for your ultimate benefit, knowledge, and healing.

Don’t be afraid to reach out for love and support during this time as well, making it a perfect opportunity for energy work. You can work with me 1:1 in a variety of ways at the following links:

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