I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that spirituality has started to become marketed very differently than it has in the past. This is because the collective consciousness is waking up FAST, meaning situations are arising left and right that are calling for more truth and more light.

What exactly do I mean?

Well, in as little as 10 years ago, when I was first really venturing onto my path of spirituality and developing my own practice, the only phrase I ever heard was, “love and light.” I had read and watched The Secret like most people, telling me how thoughts become things and to stick to a positive mindset at all times. Crystals were being marketed as master healers for this condition and this emotional trauma. “Wear this crystal at all times and all your anxiety will disappear!” Everything, at least from my perception were being marketed as all rainbows and unicorns. And now looking back, maybe that’s the story I was projecting at the time.

But I hear too many similar stories. And if it weren’t for a dear friend of mine preparing me and prepping me for life not only as a healer, but following any sort of spiritual practice, my journey would probably look very differently.

Jumping back to the present, I’m noticing more of a call to action. More healers and practitioners are sharing more deeply and vulnerably. They’re speaking their truths louder, and calling on others to do the same. There are more and more men and women every day being called to areas of reiki, life coaching, and other holistic healing modalities. Which says right there that there are more people in need of healing than there are healers. I’m also sure you’ve heard the word “lightworker” being tossed around as well.

That is who we are. That is our truth. Even if you do not find yourself in a commonly known healing modality, if you are someone who is called to service, or even someone who has others come to them for love and support, you are a light worker.

I feel like lightworkers and healers are often regarded in the same stereotype as spirituality. That the grass is always greener, the glass is always half full, and to always shine that light and love! But I now feel a responsibility to share the truth. And even while spirituality is quite personal and means something different and looks different for everyone, it’s time to shine a light on what being a lightworker really entails.

Now I’m going to use manifestation as a prime example here. As mentioned in The Secret, it’s all about a positive mindset. I personally don’t like the term “spiritual bypassing” and the judgment I’ve noticed others place upon the various ways of learning manifestation and healing in particular. But I do feel it’s important to set the record straight on some truths that have been omitted. So let’s break things down with ease!

We’re a human being. But more than that, we are an eternal, limitless soul having a human experience. Many healers, including myself, like to call this experience “Earth School.” We come here to learn specific lessons, rebalance any karmas from previous incarnations, and experience the full range of human emotions. We are manifesting every minute, of every hour, of every day. And while it is our thoughts that manifest our reality, contrary to popular belief, you are NOT expected to be happy and”high vibe” 24/7. That is physically impossible. It is your responsibility however to be conscious of how you’re thinking and feeling, and to remember that you get to choose how you want to feel. We do need to be in a higher vibration and frequency, such as love and joy, in order to manifest our desires. So lets’ say you wake up one day feeling like the world is your oyster and you’re on top of the world! You also may be working on purposely manifesting a promotion or a raise. So you’re driving to work and someone cuts you off and maybe you accidentally spill coffee on your favorite shirt.

You have two options: You can curse of the person in the other car, have some negative self-berating thoughts like “how could I be so stupid?!” and walk around the for the rest of the day consciously thinking to yourself, can this day get any worse? (Answer: it can, and the more you ask that question, the more you command that energy from the universe. You may also start feeling like you’ve somehow ruined or sabotaged your manifestation.

OR you can be mad for a good few minutes. Maybe an hour. You can feel frustrated and annoyed, because let’s be honest, when those things happen, it sucks! But now is where you can do things differently. Maybe you have a few extra minutes to stop on the way to work and pick up a cute sweater or pin to throw on top of that coffee stain. Or maybe you can simply just remember how you felt earlier that morning and CHOOSE to reconnect to how that felt, and spend the remainder of the day in that vibe. You see? It’s a matter of choosing, but still remembering not to beat yourself up. Remembering the love you have for yourself and being gentle, as if you were speaking to your child or a loved one who may have experienced the same thing you have. You wouldn’t berate them and tell them their day is ruined, would you? No! You would give them the space and time needed to feel exactly how they feel, let them know it’s ok, and lift them back up. Also, these things still happen to people who get raises and promotions because they’re human too! 😉

As talked about in my previous post sharing my story, it’s not that simple or easy for some people to shake a bad mood or a painful experience as it is for others. One of the biggest pieces of self-love is honoring our emotions and doing whatever we need to do to move through it to heal. The quickest way out is through, but it is necessary to feel. Too many people are afraid to feel for fear of judgment that they’re somehow weak, or afraid they won’t be able to ever see the light at the end of the tunnel. Who taught us that? My guess is the ego, which is the part of our psyche that tries to prevent us from fulfilling our soul’s mission and life purpose. Our destiny. It’s that little voice within that tells us we’re not enough. We’re weak. People aren’t going to love us, accept us, and that they’re going to think less of us. But I’m here to remind you that that voice IS. NOT. YOU. Your voice is that of your heart and soul. That voice is your true voice. The ego likes to keep us small, so it’s important when we have those limiting thoughts not to judge them, and to ask ourselves, “is this ultimately true?” And take action accordingly.

We have got to own our life experience and stop being so hard on ourselves for making mistakes and feeling differently than what we think we should be feeling! Energy work and healing, and being spiritual is shining a light on our shadow side, our dark parts, in order to heal and balance ourselves and our bodies. To balance our minds, bodies, and souls. We are all, along with the universe, are comprised of both light and dark. We shy away from the dark before really taking the time to learn what that really means. First, in regards to the darkness within, we all have it. And it’s in the shadow where our most powerful medicine lays. It’s uncovering all of these parts where we truly see what we’re made of, and thus learn about ourselves so deeply and intimately that we have no choice but to come back to our wholeness and be of service for our highest good and the highest good of all involved. It’s in this learning too that we take our power back and we experience the deepest self-love, honoring our true value and worth, and healing and upleveling all the other relationships in our lives. This is where the true magic really occurs.

But what most people also don’t talk about is the work in light work. It’s always beautiful, but oftentimes it’s messy and it feels chaotic. It can feel never-ending at times. I for one had to go through so many times where I felt like I hit rock bottom. Like I was just empty and didn’t know what the point was anymore. You can start getting into your head and question yourself. You question your life. But what I’ve learned is that you get to choose whether you want to stay in that place or not. Energy  works entails facing these dark parts, all parts of our self really and ask ourselves what serves us and what old stories, limiting beliefs and patterns no longer serve us. And then we take action accordingly, such as forgiveness work, journaling, meditating, talking to a loved one, or just choosing that it’s time for things to be different. You are perfect and loved REGARDLESS!! A caterpillar does not force itself to become a butterfly. It doesn’t judge the timeless of when it occurs or how long it takes. It moves along with every step of the journey, because the end result is going to be the same, and it’s going to be beautiful. Stop comparing your journey to someone else’s, especially if it’s someone you only follow on social media. You don’t know how long it took them or what they’ve had to go through to get to where they are in the present. Each soul comes here with a specific mission, and some things they need to learn at various paces and timelines. You are exactly where you need to be and you are equipped with the knowledge and tools to get you where you need to go. Always be gentle, loving, and patient with yourself. There are no shoulds or shoudn’ts, and NO ONE is happy-go-lucky at all hours of the day. That may only be what they are presenting themselves as to the public.

Now let’s move into universal light and dark. I speak about this often, but I’m going to continue for however long it takes. There is duality to everything. There is always light and dark, with shades of gray of course. And we are currently living in a time where our light is being called upon to raise the vibration of this earth, this universe, and combat the dark. Our earth is a feminine energy that has become overrun with the masculine. But more than that, dark forces have been running rampant. They have found comfort in our government, the medical field, and as most of us know, the entertainment industry. Many of us are familiar with theories about the Illuminati, the greys, so on and so forth, but I’m not here to really dive deep into that, but it is important we become aware of the truth. I mentioned at the beginning of this post that there is a reason we’ve been seeing such shake-ups in our world right now, with the current president in office, climate change and becoming more eco-conscious, the #metoo movement, and the rise of food awareness and the inclusion of natural healing modalities with western medicine. We are in a period of a new revolution, you are a part of a new revolution, where our voices are needed even louder and are being heard! And we need to stand up in place of integrity instead of anger. While it’s ok to be angry and pissed off, darkness cannot fight darkness. They will definitely try and fight back, but it’s only shining our light brighter and bolder that dissipates and ultimately banishes the dark. Fear is simply just the absence of love.

Even on a smaller scale, when we go to places like bars, clubs, or just areas with larger crowds such as the airport or amusement parks, we need to understand these energetic principals. We’re becoming more empathic and sensitive to energies, and as we continue to step into our role as a lightworker, or even just progress on our spiritual path, dark forces and energies like to wait around for the slightest crack in our field. And if we’re not careful, we can allow lower vibrations, energies, and entities to attach themselves to us. When this happens, we can experience our moods shifting at a moments’ notice. We can feel fear, anger, anxiety, and depression. We can feel tired and drained. Sometimes we just don’t feel like ourselves. I’m finding more and more in my practice, I have been doing and teaching a lot more banishing and protection work, and teaching you how to take your power back in every instance! There is something to be said for being conscious and working to maintain a higher vibration, and staying in the emotional realms of love and joy in order to keep everything unsavory at bay…and far apart from us. And let me just make it clear, there is nothing to be afraid of! You are always safe, and you always have an angelic team surrounding you to call upon. You will never be possessed and no one and nothing can ever control you, unless you consciously give it power. Nothing is every going to swoop in the minute you feel sad or afraid. Remember, always honor your emotions first and foremost as there is always a lesson or blessing, and everything we experience is ultimately for our highest evolution and growth.

So try as we might, we can no longer stay ignorant! It is our responsibility to know and share information on how to protect and clear our energies on a daily basis. You don’t need to be a healer or shaman to do it either. Consider these practices are necessary spiritual maintenance. It is just as important to take care of ourselves on this level as it is to brush our teeth and wash our hands every day. This isn’t just for the woo-woo world any longer. These practices, this work, is universal work. And you my friend are a part of this universe. And if you’re someone who needs a little science thrown into the mix, just think about the concepts of energy and quantum physics. Our entire world, we are all made up of energy. Creating energetic boundaries and taking care of ourselves in that manner may actually be even MORE important than taking care of ourselves physically. I mean still do all of it, because balance and all, but you get my point. Our light and the light of this planet is our strength, and it is essential to our livelihood and that of future generations that we know about and do this work. That we make ourselves a priority and improve our self-care and thus our self-love. I know there are so many people, including myself at one point, who ask themselves who am I to make a difference? But again I’m here to remind you that there are no accidents and source, however you choose to call it, created you and brought you here for a reason. You make a HUGE difference and an impact whether you realize it or not. And it begins within. It all matters on how you’re treating and feeling about yourself. We need you. The planet, this earth, this universe needs you and your unique magic and light.

I want you to take a minute and think of the ripple effect one smile to a stranger can cause. What’s that line from the movie Even Almighty? Once small act of random kindness at a time. But it always starts and ends with yourself.

For all the complete breakdown of the why’s and how to’s of easy but powerful energetic protection, clearing, grounding, and self-care, make sure to grab a copy of my BACK TO BASICS GUIDE!!

If you were to meet me anytime before the past two years, you probably would not recognize me. Appearance-wise, yes, but anything beneath the surface, not so much.

If you read my recap of Soulcation, you’ve already seen me touch upon some of my old stories as they relate to my social life. But I want to go deeper here. I want to delve into a subject that’s at the forefront of the awareness of the collective consciousness right now, especially after the past weeks’ news of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. I want to talk about mental health. And more than that, I want to share my story of suffering from and healing severe, crippling anxiety and depression, as well as what ultimately led me to where I am now. I want to share the knowledge I’ve gained, the healing I’ve experienced, practices I incorporate into my daily routine as well as my business practice, and to let you know that you are not alone. And most importantly, for whatever you’re going through now, or have gone through, you can heal it all.

I’ve always felt like an outsider since before I can remember. I always felt like I got the “short end of the stick.” When I was 5 years old, I had cataract surgery. And it was at the beginning of the school year, so here I was this little thing with a patch over her eye, glasses on top, starting class a few weeks later than everyone else. Only one person at the time  immediately came over and embraced me, but it was definitely a bit isolating. I also want to add, which I recently found out, the surgery was in my left eye, also known as the “seat of the soul” and connected to the divine feminine…something I have been channeling the past few days (I’m 31 now) I need to heal and rebalance. Making the correlation after all these years is mind-blowing to say the least!

Anyway, this feeling of isolation would continue. There was always a part of me, way deep down that knew I came from somewhere else. Like, not of this world. I was the weird kid too. I didn’t have imaginary friends, but I talked to myself. And in public. My mom even has some of those instances on video and I cringe looking back at it. I later came to learn I was a medium and completely unaware that I was channeling, and thankful it wasn’t a symptom of something more serious. I was always interested in the unknown, and ya know, witchy things. I had interests not really heard of for other kids around my age. I had questions about the universe and wanted to learn the mysteries of life. As much as I loved toys, I wasn’t really the girl you asked to play barbies with! School was difficult for me already in a class of 25 people, but then in 7th grade, I made the switch from private to public school and a whole new world was opened up to me. I was also coming from a close knit community of a Jewish day school, so my awareness of other cultures and religions was now expanding for me. Oh and my class was also raised to about 600 people by the time I was in high school. Throughout these years, I made some great friends, but I was also introduced to the “mean girl mentality.” I was also spending my summers at an all-girl sleepaway camp (you east coasters know what I’m talking about!) where I was starting to experience the same issue.

I’ve always been sensitive. I’ve always wanted to be accepted and included like anyone else and I let people push my buttons, easily. I was a people pleaser and let myself be walked all over. Boundaries were just non-existent. I was always afraid that if I spoke up for myself or even just voiced something that I needed or wanted from another, in both friendships and romantically with men, they would get mad at me or simply leave and want nothing to do with me. This was a pattern and a story I would play out and repeat for 20+ years. Who exactly was that serving?! And throughout it all, I have to say I am grateful that I never let life make me “hard.” While I would certainly feel resentful or angry internally about a certain situation or people, I never allowed myself to become closed off as I’ve always believed the sun would shine again and that love and acceptance was right around the corner. Although now I know, it’s always within me waiting for me to reconnect back to it.

Between my junior and senior year of high school is when sh*t hit the fan and things took a turn for the worse. Girls that I thought were my friends were turning on me and publicly humiliating me, 3 of my grandparents passed away fairly close to one another, and my physical health began to decline. I should also note that I was never the most positive person, as hinted at in my opening sentence of this post. The glass was always half empty. Even if there was nothing to complain about, I found something. One day during lunch senior year, a childhood friend had enough of my negativity and called me out. It was embarrassing to say the least and we didn’t speak for months. But looking back in hindsight, it was the kick in the ass I didn’t know I so desperately needed. As that year progressed, things were continuing to decline. I knew nothing of the time of law of attraction, spirituality, and taking responsibility for our own life experience. It was always someone else’s fault or due to an external circumstance. It was almost prom weekend and I finally had enough. I was starting to believe that may I and everyone else would be better off if I just wasn’t around anymore and began contemplating suicide. What was the point? I would play over and over in my head. What value do I bring to anyone? I grew up with an incredible family and a very loving household, but I still felt unloved and unworthy. And I was miserable. I sat with this decision quite seriously, but two things were stopping me from following through. First, I was honestly too scared to do it. And second, there was a part of me truly looking forward to going away to college and having a fresh start. I knew something needed to be done though, so I went on medication. I also began some therapy to no avail. I couldn’t see the effectiveness of just talking through my feelings and having someone present me with questions of how to reevaluate how I was feeling. To be honest it actually angered me and I felt like it was a waste of time.

As my college years progressed, I still struggled in regards to friendships, but I was finding my way. I had some amazing times and experiences! But my health continued to struggle. I was starting to notice in high school that I had to use the restroom more often than normal. It reached its peak my sophomore year of college and I had a procedure that diagnosed me with something called Interstitial Cystitis. Also known as “painful bladder syndrome,” which I actually didn’t have any pain leading later to a misdiagnosis, caused severe urinary frequency and urgency. I had to stop eating some of my favorite foods and become more conscious about sitting in a car for long periods of time. Forget hiking or drinking coffee or alcohol. You can imagine how much fun it was for me turning 21. This was the beginning of all my social and life plans revolving around my proximity to a bathroom. Because of the fact that I was already naturally thin and now had to run off to the bathroom during and after meals, people began assuming, suggesting, and even starting rumors that I had an eating disorder. This was no way to live. One night in college, because I was so used to my symptoms, I had no idea I had a UTI and ended up in the emergency room with a kidney infection. This was one more thing on my already full plate of reasons to be miserable and pretty much hate myself.

I’ll make a long story short and just say that this experience began a loooong journey down a rabbit hole of multiple medications, specialists, diets, and healers which did not do a THING for me. And as time went on, my symptoms got worse and worse. This new way of life had me feeling like a prisoner of my body, subject to its every beck and call. I was still experiencing the same stories of loneliness, abandonment, and ghosting with friends and prospective romantic relationships. I swear I believed I was doomed to be alone forever. I thought I was cursed. What I didn’t know at the time obviously was that this was about to catapult me onto a path that would change my life forever. One that would reintroduce and reconnect me to who I truly was, as well as my path and purpose. Everything happens for a reason. (Ps. I saw that eye roll and exasperated sigh lol!)

A couple years after college was when I began my spiritual journey. My interest and love of the metaphysical seemed the most natural and relevant for me, especially beginning to learn that we can heal ourselves. I never really bought into the “too good to be true” perspective, but also allowed myself a be a bit naive off the bat. I bought all the books and crystals thinking they would do all the “work” for me, and saw every type of healer for every type of reading you can imagine. It was a fun journey, but why wasn’t anything moving or shifting?! My body was fighting me and my life experience was stagnant, but I refused to give up.

I was learning a TON though. I read some amazing books like The Alchemist and Infinite Possibilities which were teaching me exactly how this universe works. And I can honestly say, they have changed my life in how I was approaching my life experience and my interactions with the people in it. There were some healers and readings who did fill in some of the gaps as to why I was experiencing what I was experiencing and cleared a couple layers. But I knew if I wanted to heal, it was time to take things into my own hands and do it myself! I came into this incarnation for that reason and purpose. I also began to learn about star seeds, elementals, and the many origin places our souls come from. Like I mentioned earlier, I always knew I wasn’t from here! And as I journeyed into reiki and my healing practice, that’s when the fun really began! I’m so grateful that one of my best friends here in Los Angeles was also my healer and mentor to walk me through everything, or else I really don’t know if I would’ve made it through. My gifts and abilities were opening up at a pretty progressive rate. What I didn’t know when I was young and extremely sensitive were actually the beginning signs of my life as an empath. But my friend taught me how to harness this gift. She taught me the importance and necessity of clearing and protecting my energy, knowledge we should all be equipped with and what I now teach to others.

I began to learn and see the correlation to everything I went through in my life, socially, personally, with my health and body, etc to one another and how to finally heal. Heal ALL . OF. IT. I was able to see and finally have gratitude for all the pain and discomfort because of how it shaped me into the person I am today and where it brought me to, which is this beautiful place where I am now able to be of service to others. I am able to commend myself for something extremely uncomfortable which was to take responsibility for most of what I experienced because of how I was feeling inside. I learned about thoughts becoming things, and how my negativity was being projected outwards therefore alerting the universe to respond the same in turn. That can be a hard pill to swallow!

What most people don’t understand about having a spiritual practice, is that it’s not all light and love as marketed. While that’s always the goal we’re trying to align with, it’s in facing our shadows and shining a light on the deepest, darkest parts of ourselves and our psyche which is where the true medicine lays and healing begins. And every healer and guru, no matter how advanced they may seem, continues to do that work. It’s why we’re here. This is earth school. Once we’re done learning, it’s off to the next incarnation. We’re not living if we’re not learning. And my loves, it is not easy. Some of the deepest healing is when I’m raw, vulnerable, and bloody, crying until I’ve lost my breath, screaming into a pillow, emptying myself until it feels like there’s nothing left. Because it’s then when a rebirth can transpire. Healing can make you feel like you’re going crazy. I often feel sometimes that in some cases where a person is diagnosed as bipolar, it’s during a time of deep, spiritual transition. We can feel the highest of highs one moment, to all of a sudden our lowest of lows not knowing how or when we’ll rise back up to the surface. I get it because I’ve been through it all and I’ve seen it all. And throughout this process and journey, I’ve learned the true effectiveness of energy healing.

That term gets thrown around quite a bit as woo-woo or a little bit as a blanket explanation. But I’ve come at from multiple perspectives, both spiritually and scientifically. Einstein said match the vibration and frequency of what you want, and you cannot help but receive it. That’s the law of attraction. We are all composed of energy, vibrating at different frequencies and densities. Our human body is a vessel capable of miraculous healing. And living within that vessel is a limitless, eternal energetic being that’s either in sync with vessel or not. What I’ve learned as fact is that all the pain, disease, imbalances, etc we experience in our bodies is also energy. However, stuck and stagnant, meaning it can be transmuted and transformed into ultimate health and wellness. I come from a background of incorporating the balance of western medicine and holistic healing, so while there is a time and place for the western medicine we’re accustomed to, it is extremely important to look at what’s going on emotionally and energetically within the body first. More often than note, once those components are tackled, we negate any need for medication or bandaid solutions. And this 100% includes mental health.

Many mental health disorders correlate to the wiring in the brain. While doctors often say we’re born with these disorders and diseases, they’re only half-right. There are many shades of gray here, so bear with me a moment. On the one hand, our souls often choose many of our physical experiences due to the lessons and blessings that will come from them for both ourselves and those around us. It might be a karmic circumstance where someone from a previous lifetime was our caretaker and this time around we’ve chosen to be theirs. Other times, certain health issues have been carried within us time and time again, stuck energetically in our cells, repeating their signs and symptoms until we clear it. And in those scenarios, the good news is that there is a “cure,” despite common misconceptions that there may not be.

Louise Hay wrote a popular book I’m sure you’re all familiar with called “You Can Heal Your Life.” She breaks down various health issues and symptoms and the emotional correspondence. For bladder issues, it’s anger. And in my healing, I have uncovered and navigated where I was unconsciously and subconsciously feeling that exact emotion, where it originated from, and how to make peace with myself in order to clear it. But there were also other factors I’ve had to work through. Because of how I was feeling internally, like a victim, isolated and alone, and speaking those stories into fruition, my body then began to create another story to support those feelings. It created this situation that continued to push people away and alienate myself, giving myself another reason to put false blame on an external circumstance. And the first step to healing anything is recognition. Recognizing the story we’ve been telling, internally or externally, or both. Once we do that, we can start asking for guidance on telling a new story. While affirmations are absolutely a part of this rewiring of our internal environment, if we don’t do the energetic work and clearing first, the affirmations will have nowhere to land.

The longer we’ve been telling a limiting story or living out the same patterns that don’t serve us, it may take a little longer for the big results to really manifest. The results may seem subtle at first, but they are powerfully effective! Energy moves faster than our physical human form because of our slower density, so it is SO important to be patient with ourselves during this process. There were countless times I wanted to give up and throw in the towel, feeling like I’m doing all this work with nothing to show for it, but it’s in the small movement where we can see the most difference if we simply slow down and take the time to acknowledge it. I always recommend keeping a journal during a healing or any type of spiritual practice so you can go back and see how far you’ve come, especially during those tough moments. Also speaking to a loved one, hearing them share the difference they notice within you can also be insanely inspiring and helpful. It’s also in the times where it feels like nothing is moving or getting done where we have to strengthen our resolve and show ourselves the most love, because self-love is everything here.

It’s the core of my practice and business. If we don’t love ourselves, how are we supposed to receive love from another? Our relationships are a mirror, reflecting back how we TRULY feel about ourselves deep down and what needs the most work or attention. They can also be projectors for how much we’re in alignment with another person. We can reflect back to another where they could use a little more light and love. My anxiety and depression was coming from a place of lack of love, support, and acceptance for myself. And the more I continued to feel that way and care so much about what other people thought of me instead of just doing and being my best, the more I was creating that feeling and experience of isolation and lack for myself. But the more I began to heal my old beliefs around self-love and self-worth and truly feel those things for myself, the more it was reflected back in my life.

Are we starting to see the correlation here? And what most people don’t know as well is that when someone is going through this darkness and this pain, it’s not that easy to just reach out about how they’re feeling. I know for me, I always felt like a burden to others so it was “easier” to pretend or act like I was ok. What we really need is someone to ask if we’re ok if they’re noticing something off. Nudge them if you need to, because not everyone can pull themselves out. It’s the littlest things that can make all the difference sometimes. And the more we open up and share our stories, the more we see we’re really not alone. Many of us have similar stories that we could never even have guessed. By reaching out more and beginning more of a dialogue, who knows how many lives we can save.

Our minds can trick us easily if we let it. It is essential we begin a practice of non-judgmentally observing our thoughts, although we have thousands a day! Just do your best and notice that when you start thinking a limiting thought, take a beat and ask yourself if this ultimately true? If the answer is no, you can start to retrain your brain to one of positive affirmation. And sometimes it’ll feel like you’re lying to yourself, but keeping shifting to something positive, or even just something you’re grateful for for as long as it takes to settle in. As much as many people like to blame their external environment for how they’re feeling or what they’re experiencing, the truth is we are the only ones in control of how we’re feeling in every moment. And it’s up to us to take that responsibility into our own hands to rediscover and design the lives we ultimately want to live here. I mean, how empowering is that to be able to take your power back and DECIDE how you want to feel? And start feeling it! It takes practice so obviously don’t beat yourself up if you’re not winning the lottery or feeling on top of the world immediately, but baby steps. Each step is just as important as the next and you need to celebrate yourself every step of the way. Once you make the decision about how you want to feel and healing something in your life, whether that’s physically or emotionally, the other thing that could possibly get in your way is you. It’s time to give ourselves more credit, and more importantly, more LOVE.

You are not alone. You’ve never been alone, and you’ll never be alone. Take it from someone who felt that there was a point when she had no one who could possible understand her pain and desperation, we have a whole unseen team in the angelic realm who can guide you and are only waiting on you to ask for their assistance. No task or questions is too big or too small for them. (NOTE: Communication in this manner is non-denominational but always proceed at your own comfort level) You will receive divine inspiration on what to do, where to go, who to talk to, resources popping up out of nowhere as if they were sent by a miracle. You only need to be open to receiving.

You are divine. You are magic. You’re here for a reason and you have a purpose. We need you. I love you and I’m here for you.

Before we get into the meat and potatoes of this post, for those that don’t yet know what Soulcation is, it’s a beautiful wellness retreat in Tulum, Mexico created and led by Laina Caltagirone, my friend and spiritual life coach and manifestation teacher. I’ll link her info at the bottom of this post so you get learn more about her, her work, and this incredible experience.

Let me just start out by saying that I still can’t believe I pulled it all together and made this happen for myself! I can confidently say I did manifest this, although it could have been done in a more graceful and easy way, but more on that later. I honestly wasn’t sure I could get together the finances I needed, and stubbornly refused sharing a room. But alas, I refused to take no for an answer, stopped letting a lack mentality around money hinder me once again, frantically prayed for guidance and assistance to make it happen, and the universe provided for me as it always does.

Laina gave me a warning, which was that Tulum gives you exactly what you need. My mindset and intention for this retreat was to in fact find retreat from my recent monkey mind, prove to myself that I absolutely can manifest, create, and have whatever I wanted, and to restructure my businesses. Possibly even get inspired with some new ideas. I got all of that…and then some.

I want to first delve into the most important lesson I was faced with. And I’ll preface this by sharing that since an early age, I never really felt like I fit in. I never felt accepted, I was bullied, and was never included into cliques and groups. I had previously been to one other fitness retreat where exactly what I feared, did in fact manifest for myself. But I knew this was going to be different. I’ve since grown, continue to take responsibility for my inner environment knowing it creates my external experience, and knew the type of like-minded women this experience attracted. I was definitely still nervous, because ya know, I’m human, but as my mom always reminds me, “one step at a time.” Full of wise gems, that one.

The first night was beautiful and filled with so much excitement. Everyone was excited to connect with one another and the week ahead. Tulum is beautiful wellness hub. It’s a mix of jungle and beach and extremely eco-friendly/conscious. It’s almost like the Sedona of Mexico. Very spiritual and sensual as well. A place that truly connects you to nature, mother earth, and the divine feminine. The way the rooms are set up are like luxury tents with AC, big comfy beds, but outdoor bathrooms to shower under the stars which made you feel a part of the environment, but high-vibe, safe and comfortable. All our breakfasts and dinners were family-style, and we broke the ice going around the table answering soulful questions and sharing intentions. Every morning started with yoga led by another beautiful goddess of a soul and human, Miki Ash, followed by our soul chat led by Laina, breaking down the steps to powerful purposeful manifestation. I will admit I only made it to yoga 2x cause your girl here is not a morning person! Def something I’m still actively working on 😉

Both Miki and Laina took the time to connect on a deeper level with each and every person that was there individually which I can attest can sometimes make all the difference in one’s experience. Thank you to both of you angels <3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I knew this was a special place and I was surrounded with special women.

The second day started on the same token, but as the day progressed, I noticed some old patterns start to spark up. I was noticing that as hard as I was trying to get to know people, the only questions I was starting to be asked were about my business and life as a healer. Not much about who I, Emily, am as a person. I began feeling as though the cliques were forming. My previous excitement turned to fear and I began feeling secluded and excluded. I would sit down with a couple girls to join the conversation and I would either be ignored or they would get up to do something else.

I had to own the fact that I was creating my life experience, therefore creating these scenarios and situations for myself. These were stories I was telling myself and these were the same patterns I would play out in similar experiences with new groups of people, especially women for as long as I could remember. And my go-to had been, “well fuck it, maybe I really don’t belong here and I’ll just go off on my own until this thing is over. I shouldn’t have said or done that because now no one’s gonna like me. They’re judging me. I knew this would happen.” But this wasn’t supposed to happen. Not here, not anymore. I knew I needed to stop caring so much about what other people thought and focus more on how I want to feel and what I truly want to experience! And these feelings popped up all throughout the week, but instead of staying in that vibe and doing what I normally do, I shook things up and got the hell outta my comfort zone!

Using some of the tools I often teach my clients and in my own work, I immediately asked myself, “what is this mirroring within me?” Why do I feel this way? Which led me to the most important questions I had only ever previously touched upon: Do I FULLY love and accept myself and Do I value myself? You can take a guess at the answer my heart and soul quickly spewed back at me. I wasn’t and didn’t. How the hell is anyone else supposed to love, accept, and see me when I don’t fully hold that space for myself? We can’t fully love another unless we fully love ourselves. Those half-assed feelings lead to half-assed relationships. And who has time for that?!

I faced myself and did the work I needed to do to move through those feelings and limiting beliefs (and there was quite some work to be done), cried it out when needed, and got right back up to join the mix. I realized that most of how I was feeling were also just assumptions I was making, and they were assumptions I would jump to way too quickly because of past experiences and conditioning. It was not truth.

I was uncomfortable. These were new terrains I was crossing and new ways of being that I was all too ready for, but all the pain, attachment, and negativity I was holding onto and recreating needed to be felt one last time before saying goodbye for good. I also felt safe to share how I was feeling with the other girls who not only held space for me, but shared their own experiences and stories. I didn’t feel so alone anymore. I knew I wasn’t alone. We never are. I would normally bury these feelings in this regard for fear of feeling like a burden or a stick in the mud, but THIS was my opportunity to explore, to share, to heal, and release. It helped me to better hold space and love for these other people however way it was meant to come through me! And I’ll be honest, at the end, I did not click with everyone. AND THAT’S OK. Because all our relationships and connections are based on vibrations. We’re never going to vibe and connect with everyone, but we always will with who we’re meant to. And it’s beautiful. Not everyone is going to see you or accept you. But it is still your job to be kind and send love (if you feel called.) Which I did. For each and every one of the amazing goddesses I was surrounded by. We all crave love, acceptance, and kindness. It’s ok not to include everyone, but it is important not to purposefully cause someone else to feel excluded.

We’re all on our journeys and it’s going to look different for everyone. And we’re all here doing the best we can. Our paths all crossed for a reason and I am beyond grateful because it all serves a purpose. And I did come back to LA with some incredible new girlfriends, stronger relationships with the friends I already had, and a more wholesome, confident, and aware sense of self.

I was learning more about who I was, shining light on old ways of being I was unintentionally and unconsciously recreating, and stepping into a new way of being and embodying my truth. Lifting burdens off my shoulders that weren’t mine to carry anymore. I felt liberated, accepted, loved, supported, and more myself than I had previously experienced! I was also learning more about my body as I was healing some old stagnation with my physical health, which of course ties into to all the emotional components, because that’s just what happens with this work. And I’m still learning because it’s baby steps. That’s what this life experience is all about. We’re here to learn and embody all of who we are and all we came here to be! Honestly, if we’re not learning anymore, it means our time is up for this incarnation.

Tulum gave me more than I ever thought I needed, and even brought up what I thought was already healed. But it was also dependent on who I was sharing the experience with. It always works out like that. We will get various experiences based on who we’re with, where we are, and where we’re at on our path/journey. Stuff will come up regardless, but it’s also dependent on how open or how closed off you are. How aware, awake, and conscious you are at the time. We always get what we need when we’re ready for. And even if we feel like we may not be. The universe, our angels, and our soul knows.

Soulcation gave me the opportunity I needed to heal on so many levels and experience new enriching connections and relationships I had been craving. It was the gift that honestly keeps on giving as it’s been 2 days since I’ve been back and I’m continuing to heal and move through old conditioning, but it’s such a blessing.

I feel open, ready, and inspired to continue creating and designing the life that I was destined to live and that I KNOW is my divine birthright! My excitement has returned and grown 10-fold around being of service, aligning with those who need me, those who I need to share my heart and gifts with, and live a life full of zest, love, and purpose! I feel like I walked away from this experience knowing I did the best I could, shared all of me, and acted from a place of loving intention in order to make whatever impact I was meant to make. My head is held high and my heart is cracked wide open!

To learn more about Soulcation, or Laina and her work: http://lainacaltagirone.com/

To learn more about Miki: http://mikiash.com/

 

And so begins my journey into the blogging world! I had been tinkering with the idea for a minute, but the timing never felt quite right. Unbeknownst to me, the date I had planned to start was the new moon in Gemini, where the energy was supporting communication and this exact venture. Synchronistic, no? So here I am, ready to share, connect, speak my truth, and that of the divine with all of you, so let the adventure begin!!

If we haven’t met yet, I’m Emily, the Emmy behind Soulful Alchemmy. I’m a reiki practitioner, channel, psychic, medium, and all-around intuitive + holistic healer. I LOVE what I do and love being of service in this really powerful, magical way. I’m also the self-proclaimed self-care queen. My work roots back to teaching the importance of self-love and self-worth and the importance (the necessity) of taking care of one’s self FIRST. I often relay back to what they say before a flight, you need to put your oxygen mask on before helping another. The relationship with have with ourselves sets the tone for our lives and our relationships with everyone and everything else. We cannot pour from an empty cup. I help you cut out and heal the bullsh*t excuses of the “not enough time” etc to create a mindfulness practice that works for you, your pace, and your schedule! Spirituality and healing is a practice. It’s continual and ongoing, and it’s not a one-size-fits-all situation.

The way I approach holistic healing and energy work contains both practicality, as well as the woo-woo stuff you’re used to. I tend to incorporate my New Jersey east coat roots in my no-nonsense approach, however always coming from a place of unconditional love, support, kindness, and respect. I may be known for my sweet tooth, but I’m not Willy Wonka – I don’t sugar coat anything!!

I’m the healer for the new age and the now age. I have my feet on the ground and my head in the clouds. I’m the healer for the newbie looking to dabble and dip their feet in the metaphysical and universal waters, as well as the advanced practitioner, fellow healer, coach, etc. So if you’re here and reading this, you’re in the right place and I’m so grateful to have you!

Here you will now find all my channeled posts most of you have already been familiar with over on Instagram, guided meditations, my favorite self-care tips, tricks, and rituals, monthly moon downloads and rituals, and SO. MUCH. MORE.

I mean, I can’t wait…can you?!

Allow this to be your new home and away from home on the interwebs for all things healing, spirituality, mindfulness, wellness, and whatever else you need this to be for you, so also please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a minute!

I’m here for you always and we’re in this together.

All my love,

Emily